Mr. West, the painter, told his Majesty one day that he had been employed by one of his principal ministers for what is called in the language of the profession a _head_. He had waited on him that morning, and had found him so dejected and with so long a face, on account of some bad news, that he could not begin. “Sir,” says his Majesty, “if that noble lord’s head cannot keep up countenance, it is time to employ another hand than yours to take it off.”
Dean Cowper, of Durham, who was very economical of his wine, descanting one day on the extraordinary performance of a man who was blind, he remarked that the poor fellow could see no more than “that bottle.” “I do not wonder at it at all, sir,” replied Mr. Drake, a minor canon, “for _we_ have seen no more than ‘that bottle’ all the afternoon.”
When Foote was in Paris, in the course of an evening’s conversation with some English gentlemen, the subject turned on Mr. Garrick’s acting, when some of the company expressed their fears of that great performer’s relinquishing the stage. “Make yourselves easy on that head,” replied the wit, “for he’d play Richard before a kitchen fire in the dog-days, provided he was sure of getting a sop in the pan.”
Professor Porson being once at a dinner party where the conversation turned upon Captain Cook and his celebrated voyages round the world; an ignorant person, in order to contribute his mite towards the social intercourse, asked him, “Pray, was Cook killed on his first voyage?” “I believe he was,” answered Porson, “though he did not mind it much, but immediately entered on the second.”
There is a delightful smack of old England in the following anecdote. The famous Tom Thynne, who was remarkable for his good house-keeping and hospitality, standing one day at his gate in the country, a beggar coming up to him, begged his worship would give him a mug of his small beer. “Why, how now,” said he, “what times are these, when beggars must be choosers! I say, bring this fellow a mug of strong beer.”
At the time when the lower house were in conversation about the propositions which Lord North intended to lay before them with respect to Ireland, and were calling upon him to give them some hint of what they were; the celebrated Mr. Fox observed that the house might be assured they would be exactly contrary to his former measures; “for the noble lord was convinced in all cases, that the only chance he had of being right was by acting in opposition to himself.”