"Your beastly baby is taking more towns, and kindly accepting ransoms for abstaining from destroying what never was his."
"Yes; and from a corner of the earth comes out the other boy who studied war; and he stands in front of the one-half of the earth where he lives, to prevent the Bully attacking it; and now there's a great battle--another--another--and another, and my baby is beaten back from one-half of that globe of yours, and the other baby stands in the middle of that half and crows; and my baby, the Bully, has to confine his attention to the half he has overrun and conquered, while a wild, delirious, long-pent-up shout of heartfelt relief comes up from the humans on the defended half. Where's that baby of yours--the doctor?"
"There he is," said James; "there he is--picking up the damaged soldiers and trying to bend them straight and set them on their legs again; checking epidemics and diseases arising from the privations and calamities of war, assuaging suffering, and curing and comforting thousands. You'll lose your comet, William--come, confess it!"
"Bah!" said William. "You don't know much of the ways of this pet fancy of yours, the inhabitants of that globule. See--they are about to show their gratitude to our three babies by conferring rewards----"
"They're looking towards my baby, the Healer!" shouted James, excitedly.
Even William was interested out of his wonted calm by the situation.
"They're handing him something done up in paper. What is it?" he shouted.
"A baronetcy--there!" shouted James. "And now they're turning to the Thinner-Out who defended one-half of the world! See--what's that they hand to him?"
"A dukedom!" shouted William. "Wait a bit--wait a bit--don't crowd on to my toes--you can see where you are. Now--they're turning towards----"
"Your Bully, the Champion Thinner-Out. They're handing him--don't shove----"
Reader, if you do not believe in William's theory, search your "Burke" for a physician qualified to sit in the House of Lords.
Simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors were silently corrected.
Anachronistic and non-standard spellings retained as printed.
Italics markup is enclosed in _underscores_.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strand Magazine, Volume VII, Issue 38, February 1894, by Various