"Yes, yes. It's really--wonderful. MEREDITH--I mean--well, it's simply--(_after a pause_) wonderful."
"Y--yes. Sometimes. And then sometimes I--I don't" (_with truth_). "It's difficult to say. Sometimes I--er--SHAW--er--well, it's ----" (_with a gesture somewhat Gallic_) "How can I put it?"
"Not THACKERAY at all?" he says, watching me eagerly.
"Oh, but of course! I mean--THACKERAY! When I said MEREDITH I was thinking of the _others_. But THACKERAY--I mean THACKERAY _is_-- er--" (_I've forgotten his name for the moment and go on hastily_) I mean--er--THACKERAY, obviously."
He shakes me by the hand. I am his friend.
But this conversation only takes place in my more hopeful moments. In my less hopeful ones I see myself going into the country for quite a long time.
"The book contains a portrait of the author and several other quaint illustrations."--_Daily Paper_.
"Miss Leitch played delightful golf up to the hole, but when once she had arrived there the result was almost ludicrous, as she could not hit the ball truly with her puttee."--_Evening Paper_.
Personally we have always found this an ineffective weapon.
[Illustration: IN THE DAYS OF AULD LANGSIDE.
_The Despatch-Bearer._ "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT THE QUEEN IS HERE. YOU ARE REQUESTED TO MAKE AS LITTLE NOISE AS POSSIBLE, AND, ABOVE ALL, _NO BLOODSHED_."
_Bothwell (to Mary, Queen of Scots)._ "IF YOU WOULD DEIGN TO TURN YOUR HEAD A LITTLE, DEAR MADAM, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE BATTLE IS OVER HERE."]
[Illustration: _The Cheshire Cat._ "I NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS STORY ABOUT DICK WHITTINGTON."]
[Illustration: _The Profiteer's Wife (sadly)._ "POOR WILLIAM HASN'T BEEN HIMSELF SINCE ARMISTICE DAY."]
[Illustration: _The Man (listening to the lark and quoting the poet)._ "UP WITH ME, UP WITH ME INTO THE CLOUDS."
_The Lady_. "OH, JOHN, LET US STAY HERE. I DON'T FEEL IN AN AVIATING MOOD TO-DAY."]
[Illustration: _The Spoilt Beauty._ "WHAT ROTTEN LUCK! I SIMPLY _DAREN'T_ GO JAZZING WITH THIS BLACK EYE!"]
[Illustration: "THE SCRAP OF PAPER." _Both (mentally)._ "WHAT A FINE DRAMATIC SUBJECT THIS WOULD MAKE FOR AN ACADEMY PICTURE!"]
[Illustration: MISS WINNIE WENDOVER SELECTS HER COSTUMES FOR THE NEW REVUE. THE CHARMING AND TYPICALLY ENGLISH ACTRESS IN HER DELIGHTFUL TURKISH BUNGALOW NEAR STAINES.]