_Mrs. Brooke-Chatteris_ (_entering with_ Lady RHODA, Sir RUPERT _and_ BEARPARK). Such a nice, plain, simple service--I'm positively _ravenous_!
_Lady Rhoda._ Struck me some of those chubby choir-boys wanted smackin'. What a business it seems to get the servants properly into their pew--as bad as boxin' a string of hunters! As for _you_, Archie, the way you fidgeted durin' the sermon was downright disgraceful!... So _there_ you are, Mr. Blair; not been to church; but I forgot--p'raps you're a Dissenter, or somethin'?
_Undershell_ (_annoyed_). Only, Lady Rhoda, in the sense that I have hitherto failed to discover any form of creed that commands my intellectual assent.
_Lady Rhoda_ (_unimpressed_). I expect you haven't tried. Are you a--what d'ye call it?--a Lacedemoniac?
_Undershell_ (_with lofty tolerance_). I _presume_ you mean a "Laodicean." No, I should rather describe myself as a Deist.
_Archie_ (_in a surly undertone_). What's a _Deast_ when he's at home? If he'd said a _Beast_, now! (_Aloud, as_ PILLINER _enters with_ Captain THICKNESSE.) Hullo, why, here's Thicknesse! So you _haven't_ gone, after all, then?
_Captain Thicknesse._ What an observant young beggar you are, Bearpark! Nothin' escapes you. No, I haven't. (_To_ Sir RUPERT, _rather sheepishly_.) Fact, is, sir, I--I somehow just missed the train, and--and--thought I might as well come back, instead of waitin' about, don't you know.
_Sir Rupert_ (_heartily_). Why, of course, my dear boy, of course! Never have forgiven you if you _hadn't_. Great nuisance for _you_, though. Hope you blew the fool of a man up; he _ought_ to have been round in plenty of time.
_Captain Thicknesse._ Not the groom's fault, sir. I kept him waitin' a bit, and--and we had to stop to shift the seat and that, and so----
_Undershell_ (_to himself_). Great blundering booby! Can't he see nobody wants him _here_? As if he hadn't bored poor Lady Maisie enough at breakfast! Ah, well, I must come to her rescue once more, I suppose!
_Sir Rupert._ Half an hour to lunch! Anybody like to come round to the stables? I'm going to see how my wife's horse Deerfoot is getting on. Fond of horses, eh, Mr.--a--Undershell? Care to come with us?
_Undershell_ (_to himself_). I've seen quite enough of _that_ beast already! (_Aloud, with some asperity._) You must really excuse me, Sir Rupert. I am at one with Mr. Ruskin--I _detest_ horses.