“However great the Western Europeans are, they cannot, in general, be said to possess that attachment and love which binds and links most oriental families together. I must here mention that beards are at a sad discount in England; moustaches hooted at, or only used by military men. Alas! for the reverence paid to the long beards of Syria. The possessors of such in this country would be set down as Jews; they are considered inconvenient, unsightly, and not reckoned as contributing to cleanliness. I knew a Frank in Syria, a hakeem, whose flowing beard was the admiration of all beholders; his patients used to seize it and make him swear by it, that he would do his best to cure them; and as for the damsels, happy was she that could make him vow fidelity to her, on the strength of his beard. Well, your Excellency, I met this hakeem in the streets of London. I knew him not; but he recognised me and spoke to me. The cruel razor had been at work, and his face was as smooth and beardless as the newborn babe. I asked him what had caused him to commit such an act of insanity, and he told me that, when he first landed, the children in the streets hooted, pelted him, and cried out ‘Halloo Moshes!’ and so, for quietness’ sake, he was obliged to submit his beautiful beard to the hands of a ruthless barber. In England no one wears beards. Bishops are beardless; Cadis are beardless; lawyers, hakeems, even the solicitors—wonderful indeed! but what is still more wonderful and absurd is, that these great men wear long curly wigs, which vastly resemble the sheepskins worn by our buffoons and tale-tellers.
“Young ladies in this country are devotedly attached to handsome uniforms; and fine uniforms are devotedly attached to handsome fortunes as well as faces. Sometimes young officers elope with heiresses worth millions of money, whereas the officer, perhaps, has nothing but a gay uniform and a good-looking face and figure to shew: but in all cases, young ladies are very fond of red and blue coats; and an officer in the guards is irresistible. Even the beadle, that is, the _Indilaft_, is an object of admiration to the lower classes, as he struts about in his gold-laced cocked-hat and uniform.