"And of course the cook and the waitress trim And the maid of the second floor, And a strong chauffeur and a housekeep_er_, And the man who tends the door.
"One day the cook she up and left, She up and left us flat. She was getting a hundred and ten a mon- Th, but she couldn't work for that.
"And the waitress trim was her bosom friend, And she wouldn't stay no more; And our strong chauffeur eloped with her Who was maid of the second floor.
"And we couldn't get no other help, So I had to cook and wait. It was quite absurd," wept the elderly bird. "I deserve a better fate.
"And I drove the car and I made the beds Till the housekeeper up and quit; And the man at the door found that a bore, Which is why I am, to wit:
"At once a cook and a waitress trim And the maid of the second floor, And a strong chauffeur and a housekeep_er_, And the man who tends the door."
["There are so many things I want to talk to you about." Abelard probably said to Heloïse, "but how can I when I can only think about kissing you?"--KATHARINE LANE in the _Evening Mail_.]
Said Abelard to Heloïse: "Your tresses blowing in the breeze Enchant my soul; your cheek allures; I never knew such lips as yours."
Said Heloïse to Abelard: "I know that it is cruel, hard, To make you fold your yearning arms And think of things besides my charms."
Said Abelard to Heloïse: "Pray let's discuss the Portuguese; Their status in the League of Nations. ... Come, slip me seven osculations."
"The Fourteen Points," said Heloïse, "Are pure Woodrovian fallacies." Said Abelard: "Ten times fourteen The points you have, O beaucoup queen!"
"Lay off," said Heloïse, "all that stuff. I've heard the same old thing enough." "But," answered Abelard, "your lips Put all my thoughts into eclipse."
"O Abelard," said Heloïse, "Don't take so many liberties." "O Heloïse," said Abelard, "I do it but to show regard."
And Heloïse told her chum that night That Abelard was Awful Bright; And--thus is drawn the cosmic plan-- She _loved_ an Intellectual Man.
Lines Written on the Sunny Side of Frankfort Street
Sporting with Amaryllis in the shade, (I credit Milton in parenthesis), Among the speculations that she made Was this:
"When"--these her very words--"when you return, A slave to duty's harsh commanding call, Will you, I wonder, ever sigh and yearn At all?"