VARLIE. (_Looking from one to the other._) The ladies! I just can't quit now though I guess I'm as little wanted as a bug in a blanket.
GORDON. You're welcome. We'll show you off. Miss Loveday Lewisham is fresh out from home and wants to see all the native sights. Miss Loveday, this is Mr. John Varlie, the universal provider. A regular conjurer who wafts the appliances of civilisation into our rude wilderness.
VARLIE. Miss Lewisham, I'm proud to make your acquaintance. Say, cut that Hyde. I'm no conjurer. I'm a plain business man, and only doing what any other business man could do if he had the brains.
ROBERT. That's it. It takes a Yankee to think of selling the goods we want in this part of the British Empire.
VARLIE. (_Slapping his leg._) What I've got here, Miss Lewisham.
NORA. (_A little spitefully._) I often thought you used your brains to make them think they wanted to buy what you wanted to sell.
VARLIE. Aw--come now, Miss Nora. You're real cute, but you don't think I could monkey with British brains?
NORA. (_Lightly._) Well, the British brains in _my_ neighbourhood are not fair game for you. (_Looks at ROBERT._) They don't know what they ought to want (_looks at GORDON_) or they want what they can't get.
VARLIE. Well, they all ought to have _this_! (_Produces sample tin opener from his pocket. The SHEPHERDS look eagerly on._) Is there a tin of food stuff around? Sure-ly?
(_Runs to the shelter and returns with one._)
VARLIE. Now this tin opener won't only save your breath, but it'll let the recording angel have a holiday. See that? (_Has slit the tin round rapidly and easily._) Can you beat that with any tin opener you ever set eyes on?
1ST SHEP. Noa. That'll be a useful kind--if they all work as easy.
VARLIE. How many will you take? You chaps ought to have one each. And the ladies! There will be a day when the ladies are alone to get the supper, none of you handy Herculeses around. With this opener, getting the supper is as easy as smiling. Now then! Only sixpence each. Finest American non-rusting steel.
NORA. Fancy wasting your time with such a trifle, Mr. Varlie.
VARLIE. Don't fret. I ain't wastin' my time. I came around your homestead with the big dump of machinery. And I am like the elephant's trunk, calculated to pull up a tree or pick up a pin. (_Laughter._) I'm picking up more than you think, maybe.