Were the conflict what your imagination has figured it, madam, your terrors would be just--But I have thought deeply on it, and know that your very virtues misguide you. It would not be torture, nor would it be eternal--On the contrary, madam, I, poor as I am in the esteem of an arrogant world, I proudly affirm it would be the less and not the greater evil.
You mistake!--Indeed, Frank, you mistake!--The fear of poverty, the sneers of the world, ignominy itself, were the pain inflicted but confined to me, I would despise. But to stretch my father upon the rack, and with him every creature that loves me, even you yourself!--It must not be!--It must not be!
I too fatally perceive, madam, your mind is subjected by these phantoms of fear.
No, no--not phantoms; real existences; the palpable beings of reason!--Beside what influence have I in the world, except over my friends and family? And shall I renounce this little influence, this only power of doing good, in order to gratify my own passions, by making myself the outcast of that family and of that world to whom it is my ambition to live an example?--My family and the world are prejudiced and unjust: I know it. But where is the remedy? Can we work miracles? Will their prejudices vanish at our bidding?--I have already mortally offended the most powerful of my relations, Lord Fitz-Allen, by refusing a foolish peer of his recommendation. He is my maternal uncle; proud, prejudiced, and unforgiving. Previous to this refusal I was the only person in our family whom he condescended to notice. He prophesied, in the spleen of passion, I should soon bring shame on my family; and I as boldly retorted I would never dishonour the name of St. Ives--I spoke in their own idiom, and meant to be so understood--Recollect all this!--Be firm, be just to yourself and me!--Indeed indeed, Frank, it is not my heart that refuses you; it is my understanding; it is principle; it is a determination not to do that which my reason cannot justify--Join with me, Frank--Resolve--Give me your hand--Let us disdain to set mankind an example which would indeed be a virtuous and a good one, were all the conditions understood; but which, under the appearances it would assume, would be criminal in the extreme.