And "Thus!" and "Thus!" she observed, and dealt The painted fantasy blow on blow; "Thou tyrannous man, thy doom is spelt!" She gave it another frightful welt, Then turned to go.
But the master, rolling upon the floor, Leapt up to his feet like a mountain kid, And "Swipe it," he said, "sweet maid, once more Just here where the axe hit not before;" And swipe she did.
He pressed his bosom, his eyes were wet, He knelt and fawned at the damsel's feet; "Be mine," he bellowed, "O Suffragette, For the noblest work I have painted yet Is now complete!"
"Any wedding, singing party, dance, conserts, dramas, social gatherings, friendly companion, jolly trips, pleasure enjoyments etc. Cannot be performed without at least a Bottle of ----. This is simple in price but gives lasting odours."
_Advt. in "United India and Native States."_
"Again I was welcomed by my cheery hostess, and once more partook of her simple yet palatable face."--_Buenos Aires Standard._
The next time he kisses her he must try not to tell us about it.
CRESCENDO; OR, THE TUNE THE OLD COW'S LIKELY TO DIE OF.
[Illustration: The Cow. "STOP! STOP! THIS ISN'T MILKING; IT'S MURDER!"]
[Illustration: _Lloyd Charon (to Plutocratic Shades)._ "Your fares will cost you more!"]
_House of Commons, Monday, May 4._--Not since epoch-making night four years ago has House been so densely crowded in anticipation of Budget statement. Amongst most honourable traditions of English public life is absolute secrecy in which Budgets are wrapped till veil is lifted by Chancellor of Exchequer. Somehow it gets known in advance when a particular one will prove to be of exceptional public and personal interest. Thus it was to-night. Hence the crowd that filled every bench on floor, every nook and cranny of the galleries.
Expectation fully realised. Lloyd George, Atlas in miniature, lightly bore on his shoulders weight of biggest Budget ever presented to House of Commons. Total expenditure £210,203,000. Total revenue £210,455,000. Balance in hand, £252,000.
How _Mr. Micawber's_ heart would have glowed over this realisation in colossal figures of his cherished principle! You remember his formula to young _Copperfield_: "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six; result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six; result misery."
