"Without proficiency with the gloves a man cannot make a really ideal soldier," said Lieut.-Col. SINCLAIR THOMSON to the Inns of Court O.T.C. On the other hand we still have a number of distinguished soldiers who before the War attached paramount importance to their cuffs, collars and ties.
The use of luminous paint is being widely advocated with the view of mitigating the dangers arising from the darkened streets. It is pointed out that the use of luminous language has already proved of extreme value in critical situations.
"You must shorten sail," said the Chairman of the Henley Tribunal to an employer who was said to have an indoor staff of thirteen servants. As a beginning he proposes to take a reef in the butler.
It appears that a reduction in the sale of chocolate will adversely affect the cinema. "All my young lady patrons," says a manager, "require chocolate in the cinema." It is feared that they will have to go back to the old-fashioned plan of chewing the corner of the programme.
At Hull, the other day, a tram-car dashed into a grocer's shop. No blame attaches, we understand, to the driver, who sounded his gong three times.
TO THE GERMAN MILITARY PICTURE DEPARTMENT.
[The enemy, in his turn, is exhibiting a film of the fighting on the Somme. At the close a statement is thrown upon the screen to the effect that the Germans have "reached the appointed goal."]
On footer fields two goals are situated, One, as a rule, at either end: This for attack (in front) is indicated, And this (to rearward) you defend; In your remark projected on the screen You don't say which you mean.
If you refer to ours in that ambiguous And filmy phrase, why then you lie; And if to yours--we hope to be contiguous To our objective by-and-by, But for the present, though the end is sure, Your statement's premature.
In fact--to follow up the sporting image In which you "reach the appointed goal"-- With many a loose and many a tight-packed scrimmage Forward and back the fight will roll, Ere with a shattering rush we cross your line (This represents the Rhine).
Meanwhile, when you observe your team is tiring, And wish the call of Time were blown, To Mr. WILSON, where he stands umpiring Gratuitously on his own, You'll look (as drowning men will clutch a straw) To make the thing a draw.