"For putting the English on top," he replied dryly. "I can’t seem to want to. Not but what the English are all right. But my kind of Maritime Province Canadians are considerably more American than English, though they never rightly know it till they’ve lived here and in the old country. We’re at home with Yankee ways and Yankee notions. In England we’re only colonials. Not but what the war may change that a bit."
"Take your secret to Washington then. President Wilson will see that you get all that you can reasonably ask for it."
"Sure—but while the pro-German microbe is active in Washington, I will not offer the thing there. Yet my first notion was to let the United States have it—on conditions."
"Well, I’d bargain they must leave Canada alone. Woodrow would boss the rest of the world, I was thinking, just the way I’ll do it myself if ever I _do_ make up my mind. _No_ bossing—everybody free and equal and industrious—no aristocracy, except just enough to laugh at—no domineering. But I ain’t so pleased with Woodrow as I was when he started presidenting. He ain’t set the Filipinos free yet. And he knowing how bad they was treated by this Republic. Why, the worst grab ever England made wasn’t a circumstance to Yankees allying with Aguinaldo, and then seizing his country."
"To what government will you sell?" I inquired patiently.
"Well, now, if I was going to sell to any government it would be Sir Wilfrid Laurier’s. But he’s got no government, now. Ontario folks beat him last election, for being too reasonable. If ever there was the makings of a good benevolent Despot, Laurier’s the man. I used to be saying to myself while I was perfecting the Odistor, says I inwardly, ’I’ll give it to Laurier.’ Of course, I was calculating he’d use it first thing to annex the United States to Canada. That would be good for both countries—if Laurier was on top. He’d give this Republic Responsible Government, stop letting it be run by hole-and-corner committees and trusts and billionaires, and, first of all, he’d establish Free Trade all over the continent. That would be good for Nova Scotia apple-growers, and, mind you, I’d like to do something for my native Province before I die. Statue in Trafalgar Square, says you. Think of a statue in Halifax—erected to me! ’ADAM BEMIS, BENEFACTOR OF NOVA SCOTIA!’ And a big apple-tree kind of surrounding my figure with blessings! Sounds kind of good, eh. Why don’t I give it to Laurier? Well he’s getting old. He ain’t any too strong in health, either. He mightn’t live long enough to get things running right. And he’d be sure to tell his colleagues how the Odistor is worked—he’s such a strong party man. That’s the only fault he’s got. Well, now, think what happens after he drops out. Why, some ordinary cuss of his Party takes over the Bossdom of the world. Now, all ordinary Canadian politicians are hungry to be knighted, or baroneted. Laurier’s successor, likely enough, would give away the Odistor to England, in return for a handle to his name. And once England got the Odistor—why, you know what I told you before."