Next day, in the afternoon, Jack left the room, the establishment of a celebrated firm of pianoforte manufacturers, where he gave his lessons, and walked homeward across Hyde Park. Here he saw approaching him a woman, dressed in light peacock blue, with a pale maize colored scarf on her neck and shoulders, and a large Spanish hat. Jack stood still and looked gloomily at her. She put on a pair of eye glasses; scrutinized him for a moment; and immediately shook them off her nose and stopped.
"You have finished work early to-day," she said, smiling.
"I have not finished it," he replied: "I have put them off. I want to go home and work: I cannot spend my life making money—not that I am likely to have the chance. Four lessons—five guineas—lost."
"You wrote to them, I hope."
"No. They will find out that I am not there when they call; and then they can teach themselves or go to the devil. They would put me off sooner than lose a tennis party. I will put them off sooner than lose a good afternoon's work. I am losing my old independence over this money-making and society business—I don't like it. No matter. Are you on your way to Cavendish Square?"
"Yes. But you must not turn back. You did not sacrifice your teaching to gad about the park with me. You want to compose. I know by your face."
"Are you in a hurry"
"I am not; but— "
"Then come and gad about, as you call it, for a while. It is too fine a day to go indoors and grind tunes."
She turned; and they strolled across the plain between the Serpentine and the
Bayswater Road, crossing a vacant expanse of sward, or picking their way amongst
idlers who lay prone on the grass, asleep, or basked supine in the sun. It was a warm afternoon and the sky was cloudless.
"You would not suppose, seeing the world look so pleasant that it is such a rascally place as it is," said Jack, when they had walked some time in silence.
"It is not so very bad, though, after all, If you were a little of a painter, as I am, this sunlit sward and foliage would repay you for all the stupidities of people who have eyes, but cannot use them."
"Äye, And painters suppose that their art is an ennobling one. Suppose I held up a lying, treacherous, cruel woman to the admiration of the painter, and reviled him as unimaginative if he would not accept her blue eyes, and silky hair, and fine figure as a compensation for her corrupt heart: he would call me names—cynical sensualist and so forth. What better is he with his boasted loveliness of Nature? There are moments when I should like to see a good hissing, scorching shower of brimstone sear the beauty out of her false face.
"Oh! What, is the matter to-day?"
"Spleen. I am poor. It is the source of most people's complaints."
"But you are not poor. Recollect that you have just thrown away five guineas, and that you will make ten to-morrow."
"I know."
"Well?"
"Well, are guineas wealth to a man who wants time and freedom from base
people and base thoughts? No: I have starved out the first half of my life
alone: I will fight through the second half on the same conditions. I get
ten guineas a day at present for teaching female apes to scream, that they
may be the better qualified for the marriage market. That is because I
am the fashion. How long shall I remain the fashion? Until August, when
the world—as it calls itself—will emigrate, and return next
spring to make the fortune of the next lucky charlatan who makes a bid for
my place. I shall be glad to be rid of them, in spite of their guineas: teaching them wastes my time, and does them no good. Then there is the profit on my compositions, of which I get five per cent, perhaps, in money, with all the honor and glory. The rest goes into the pockets of publishers and concert givers, some of whom will go down half-way to posterity on my back because they have given me, for a symphony with the fruits of twenty years' hard work in it, about one-fifth of what is given for a trumpery picture or novel everyday. That fantasia of mine has been pirated and played in every musical capital in Europe; and I could not afford to buy you a sable jacket out of what I have made by it."
"It is very hard, certainly. But do you really care about money?"