_Vapid._ Why, look ye, old Scratch,--you seem to be an admirer of this lady's.--Now I think it my duty as a moral dramatist--a moral dramatist, sir, mark that--to expose hypocrisy--therefore, sir, there is the letter, read it, and be convinced of your error.
_Lord._ Very well; have you done, sir--have you done?--consider I'm a peer of the realm, and I shall die if I don't talk.
_Vapid._ And now, sir, I must beg a favour of you--[_Gets close to him._]--keep the whole affair secret, for if it gets hacknied, it loses its force.--To bring it all on the stage: hush! say nothing--it will have a capital effect, and brother bards will wonder where I stole it--your situation will be wonderful--you hav'n't an idea how ridiculous you will look--you will laugh very much at yourself, I assure you.
_Lord._ What is all this! Well, now I will speak--I'll wait no longer.
_Vapid._ Yes, yes, I shall take care of you,--Falstaff in the buck basket will be nothing to it--he was only the dupe of another man's wife,--you'll be the dupe of your own, you know--"think of that, Master Brook, think of that." Well, your servant. [_Exit._
_Lord._ He's gone without hearing me!--then there's an end of every thing, for here I stand, once a barrister,--since a country gentleman, and now a peer; and, though I have made twenty attempts to speak, I can't be heard a syllable,--mercy! what will this world come to! A peer, and not be heard!
_Lady._ My lord,--assured of my innocence, I have no doubt of justifying my own conduct, and even by means of that letter increasing your affection.--It was written to another person--your ungrateful nephew.
_Lady._ Yes, sir, I could not perceive him losing the esteem of his friends, without having the desire to reclaim him--indeed, I knew no better mode of fulfilling my project, than by personally warning him of his situation.--For this purpose, I wrote that letter, and I never thought it would have been thus misused.--If there is any improper warmth in the expressions, it only proceeds from my anxiety of ensuring an interview.--I hope, sir, you are satisfied.
_Lord._ Why, I believe you, my lady; and I should be perfectly satisfied if I could forget your passion for the stage, and that madman behind the sofa.