Altar Boyz is a musical comedy with music and lyrics by Gary Adler and Michael Patrick Walker and book by Kevin Del Aguila (based on an idea by Marc J. Kessler and Ken Davenport). Centering on a fictitious Christian boy band from Ohio, the show satirizes, among other things, the phenomenon of boy bands and the popularity of Christian-themed music in contemporary American culture. It began an Off Broadway run on March 1, 2005, and closed on January 10, 2010, after sixteen previews and 2,032 regular performances, making it the 9th longest-running Off-Broadway musical of all time.
Synopsis
Setting: Dodger Stages, New York City
The musical is presented in real time as the final concert of the national "Raise the Praise" tour staged by the five-member group the Altar Boyz. Four of the group's members, Matthew ("the leader"), Mark ("the sensitive one"), Luke ("the bad boy") and Juan ("the Latin Lover"), apparently are named after the authors of the four canonical Christian Gospels. The fifth member is Abraham, who, the group explains in the show's opening number, is Jewish. The members of the group address the audience directly and refer to the venue and location in which the performance is taking place.
The Altar Boyz come out to introduce themselves (We Are The Altar Boyz). They go on to explain their love of God in song (Rhythm In Me). They use a gadget from SONY called the "Soul Sensor DX-12", which tells them and the audience how many souls that need to be saved. At this performance, 99 souls need to be saved. The first attempt of saving them comes from the Boyz singing about how to behave when at church (Church Rulez). This is a success.
The five Boyz proceed to perform biased skits based on what they remember of the band's formation.
Matthew remembers having trouble writing a song for the retirement party of Father Lucas, a priest at the church he attended. Mark enters the church, but does not offer much help.
Mark remembers Matthew complimenting his hair, and becomes flustered. In this skit, Matthew says that he is writing a love song for Jesus.
In Luke's point of view, his friends are completely silent when he enters the church.
Juan recalls running in and meeting the Boyz for the first time. He dramatically explains that he was born on a church in Tijuana, but found a way to Ohio, in search of his parents. Matthew, Mark, and Luke react very insensitively to this.
In Abraham's point of view, he enters to give Luke his term paper, done for Luke by Abraham. Luke points out that Abraham is a writer, and Abraham agrees to help him write the song if he gives him a robe, and Matthew agrees. However, Abraham does not finish the song. Suddenly, they are encountered by God (Or, the voice of G.O.D), who demands for the Boyz to become a boy band. Abraham believes this is a mistake, but the Boyz obey. (The Calling).
After the song, the Boyz explain their jobs in the group. Matthew is the leader, Mark is the choreographer, Juan picked out the clothes, Abraham is the songwriter, and Luke drives the tour van. According to Matthew, Luke has had to go to rehabilitation, and Luke swears he went there for exhaustion. The Boyz break out in a rap about three of Jesus's miracles. They manage to save a few souls (The Miracle Song). Then, Abraham sings his own song, claiming that it doesn't matter who you are, but that you belong in God's family nonetheless (Everybody Fits).
Once the song is through, Matthew and the Boyz read scripted confessions, supposedly from the audience. The last of the confessions is from Larry, whose girlfriend has been pressuring him to lose his virginity. Luke and Matthew are against Larry having premarital sex. Matthew sings a love song based on abstinence, bringing up a real audience member onstage, while Mark swoons, mistaking the song to be about him (Something About You). Matthew gives a souvenir to the audience member, a towelette, that is taken by Mark as she is led off the stage. Luke, fed up with Mark's jealousy, pleads for the Boyz, as well as the audience, to focus on their souls, as he has been working on his (Body, Mind, and Soul).