[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, December 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
They were the first men on Earth to reach the Moon and return. They were heroes of the world; they would be welcomed and acclaimed and feted for the greatest achievement in history. Nations would seek them out....
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"Still black as the place the devils throw their old razor blades."
"Man! My foot's working off at the knee."
"How could I sleep through this? Whad'ya want?"
"A blue beach-ball with a white halo 'round it."
"Part of Asia, I think. Lots of clouds.... I see India."
"If anyone can sleep through this they've got my blessings. Woof! My neck."
"You think you've got it bad; they've got me squeezed in with the camera equipment; I'm bent at the knees and again at the waist."
"_If_ we land? Hell, listen to him; he's still got doubts! Unchain that libido, son, we're men of the world now!"
"And speaking of worlds--we'll rule the world, gentlemen!"
"'Oops--stand back there, son; these gentlemen just got back from the moon!'"
"'Hell, Pop, I knew it was there all the time!'"
"We'll be famous--our names will be on cereal boxes."
"I can see someone's leg and the back of someone's head. Damn this lousy intercom. I can't even recognize voices."
"What's it matter who we are? We're just a lousy pack of sardines 'til we hit Earth."
"I'm gonna drown if I keep sweating like this."
"Shut up! I've got something more important to say than your groaning."
"The next speaker will be the honorable--who the hell are you anyway, bub?"
"We ... have just ... visited ... the moon!"
"There's one more important thing we have to do before we land."
"One thing to talk over. Look ... Williams! I have a strong suspicion you signed on this trip for some reason beside glory. Right?"
"'Cause Earth was getting too crowded for me."
"Needed a change, too, I guess. Been breathing fresh air and seeing people too long. Got sick of it."
"Well ... I suppose I know what you're heading at. This isn't exactly a Jules Verne type trip to the moon, 'for the glory and advancement of science.' 'Least it isn't to me. I got sick of science when I was studying for my _master's_. Sick of seeing what people were doing with it. I thought a few new worlds might ease the tension back on Earth ... before everything gets blown to pieces."