Given—A haunch, of venison. To Find—Currant jelly, and six persons to eat it.<br>
Given—A pound to Joseph Ady. To Find—Something to your advantage.<br>
Given—A flat contradiction. To Find—A wife in hysterics.
REVERSING THE OLD PROVERB—THE MOUNTAIN DOES GO TO MAHOMET. ]
Given—18,000,000_l._ to Ireland. To Find—An Irishman who is the least thankful for it.<br>
Given—A bottle of British brandy. To Find—A gentleman to drink it.<br>
Given—The legal fare. To Find—A cabman who is satisfied with it.<br>
Given—A wife and twelve children. To Find—The man who is contented with his lot.<br>
Given—A good flogging. To Find—A schoolmaster who doesn't say "it hurts him a great deal more" than the boy he is flogging.
Given—Advice. To Find—A man to act upon it.<br>
Given—One hundred philanthropists. To Find—Anything they have given.<br>
Given—A dog, a cat, and a mother-in-law. To Find—The house that is not too hot to hold them.<br>
Given—Several cooks on board wages. To Find—Any tea and sugar left in your tea-caddy.<br>
Given—A railway accident. To Find—The person whose fault it was.
Given—The "Comic Almanack." To Find—A bad joke in it.
_Old Gentleman._—Oh! my boy, you have called for the paper, have you? Well, I suppose you read everything—know of course all the news. I shouldn't be at all surprised now that you can tell me the price of stocks?
_Newspaper Boy (very quickly)._—Two bunches a penny, sir.
In this age of costumes, when everybody cries out for a particular dress, from a Puseyite to a charity boy, we think the poor shopmen in the Mourning Depôts have been shabbily overlooked. The Half Mourning Gentlemen should be dressed in the style of the old pictures seen in Wardour Street, one half black, the other white. And the Full Mourning Gentlemen, who have to wait on disconsolate widows, and offer them a choice of weeds, should be black from head to foot, and that effect not produced by art but by the hand of nature. No Ethiopian artificiality, but a real Nigger reality.
NEW YEAR'S DAY.—Now kill your dragon, for the friendly game of snap, and hire your blind-man, only take care he is a good buffer. Now get your needle ready for the purpose of threading, and hunt everywhere for a slipper, only if there is a wood pavement in the neighbourhood, you need not go far to pick up one. Now riddle your company well with conundrums, and bore them with acting charades, till every one is tired of the fun, and fairly gives it up.
