Mrs. Swipes was a fat, blouzy-faced, coarse, ignorant woman, and revenged herself by firing bombshells into the aristocratic camp every opportunity she could get, and cared but little what she said, or whom she hit, if she could only keep the enemy stirred up. "She'd heard that Mrs. Longbow's father got into jail once down in Pennsylvania, and that the hull batch on 'em were as poor as Job's turkey; and that the old Squire himself had a pretty tight nip on't; but his friends bailed him out, and he lean'd for the west. As for Mrs. Bates, she _knew_ she'd lie, right flat out--she'd catch'd her dozens of times; and, of course, Lavinia couldn't be any better--for as the old cock crows, the young one learns. She wouldn't swap characters with any on 'em, not she."
The husbands of these ladies thought just about as much of Longbow & Co. as their wives did. They were an indolent trio, and labored only enough to keep soul and body together. The rest of their time was devoted to the "Eagle tavern," street-lounging, and commentaries upon the daily developments of the aristocracy. Each one of the families of these cliques were social centres, around which others revolved, and drew all their light and heat. And then there were still other families, away down below the Birds and Beagles in the scale of respectability, who were ever warring upon _them_, proving
"That fleas have other fleas to bite 'em, And so on, _ad infinitum_."
I recollect attending a party, one evening during the winter, at Bird's, when the aristocracy took a regular broadside fire. It seemed that Longbow, some days previous, had a turkey on his table for dinner, which roused up all the wrath of his adversaries. Mrs. Bird said, "she really s'posed that he thought poor people couldn't have such things; but she'd let him know she'd lived on' turkeys before he ever know'd there was such a thing--and she had good sass with 'em too. Mrs. Longbow," she said, "cooked it for nothing in the world but to make her knuckle to her; but she'd never give in as long as _she_ drew the breath of life--that she wouldn't!"
Mrs. Sonora Brown said, "that warn't all--Longbow had bo't a bran new carpet for down-stairs, and used sales-molasses for common, eenamost every day--and the clark in Clewes' grocery had got a goin' arter Lavinny every night--and Mrs. Longbow had got mift at Mrs. Weazel, because Weazel said he wouldn't stand any more of Longbow's decisions--and they'd got a burning sperm ile in the house instead-er taller--and they were a puttin' on the drefulest sight of airs, old woman and all, that ever was seen."