"I heard those teachings in Ostrianum, and I have seen how ye acted with me and with Chilo; when I remember your deeds, they are like a dream, and it seems to me that I ought not to believe my ears or eyes. But answer me this question: Art thou happy?"
"I am," answered Lygia. "One who confesses Christ cannot be unhappy." Vinicius looked at her, as though what she said passed every measure of human understanding.
"And hast thou no wish to return to Pomponia?"
"I should like, from my whole soul, to return to her; and shall return, if such be God's will."
"I say to thee, therefore, return; and I swear by my lares that I will not raise a hand against thee."
Lygia thought for a moment, and answered,--"No, I cannot expose those near me to danger. Cæsar does not like the Plautiuses. Should I return--thou knowest how every news is spread throughout Rome by slaves--my return would be noised about in the city. Nero would hear of it surely through his slaves, and punish Aulus and Pomponia,--at least take me from them a second time."
"True," answered Vinicius, frowning, "that would be possible. He would do so, even to show that his will must be obeyed. It is true that he only forgot thee, or would remember thee, because the loss was not his, but mine. Perhaps, if he took thee from Aulus and Pomponia, he would send thee to me and I could give thee back to them."
"Vinicius, wouldst thou see me again on the Palatine?" inquired Lygia.
He set his teeth, and answered,--"No. Thou art right. I spoke like a fool! No!"
And all at once he saw before him a precipice, as it were without bottom. He was a patrician, a military tribune, a powerful man; but above every power of that world to which he belonged was a madman whose will and malignity it was impossible to foresee. Only such people as the Christians might cease to reckon with Nero or fear him,--people for whom this whole world, with its separations and sufferings, was as nothing; people for whom death itself was as nothing. All others had to tremble before him. The terrors of the time in which they lived showed themselves to Vinicius in all their monstrous extent. He could not return Lygia to Aulus and Pomponia, then, through fear that the monster would remember her, and turn on her his anger; for the very same reason, if he should take her as wife, he might expose her, himself, and Aulus. A moment of ill-humor was enough to ruin all. Vinicius felt, for the first time in life, that either the world must change and be transformed, or life would become impossible altogether. He understood also this, which a moment before had been dark to him, that in such times only Christians could be happy.