"You have believed that I thought myself normal; that I was unconscious of my want of feeling."
"I never observed any recognition of your temperament evidenced in your conduct."
"But it is true, Baron. I swear to you that I know my need so well, so painfully well, that on the chance of Friedrich's saving me from all that it means, I was willing to force him to poverty, and to separate him from all that he held dear."
"I don't doubt it, though I don't see how you expected that to help you."
"I thought that, if I could have him near me always, perhaps my heart might wake within me. I do not love him, but he is the only man I ever met whose every thought I honor."
Von Sternburg looked at her in abhorrence.
"I suppose you don't know what an abomination of selfishness you are."
She did not seem to hear him, but added, bitterly,--
Von Sternburg looked across the room. Friedrich was leaning over Sydney's chair.
"It is still in the family, I should say. It merely has changed its abiding-place."
A spasm which was the recognition of defeat, not the anguish of loss, went over Hilda's face. She crossed the room to Mrs. Carroll, von Sternburg following slowly after.
"Dear Mrs. Car-roll," she said, in English, "Baron von Sternburg has brought news that compels me to leave Oakwood soon--yes, to-morrow. I hope you know how gr-rateful I am to you for your hospitality. Your kindness alvays vill be a br-right spot in my life!"
She looked charmingly young and very lovely as she stooped and kissed the old lady's cheek.
"To-morrow? Oh, surely not to-morrow!" cried Sydney, in hospitable reproach.
"Sydney dear, you are vonderful! I r-really believe you mean it after everything." And she tapped the taller girl's cheek with her tiny hand.
She was entirely self-possessed now, much less agitated than the two men who knew her secret, or than Wendell, who had been stricken at the news of her departure; or than Sydney, who was overcome by embarrassment as she came to appreciate the meaning of her guest's speech.
"I expect never to see you again, Friedrich; I should pr-refer not; so I vant to make my confession to you now. Oh, any one may hear," she said, in answer to a gesture of Friedrich's. "I am quite indifferent--now. Did the Baron tell you that Max shot himself because I r-refused to give up a flirtation? It is quite tr-rue. I lied to you, Friedrich, and I did an injustice to a man who had conquered the follies of his life. Ah, Mrs. Car-roll, I did not love my husband or vear his name vorthily. I am one of the lost illusions."