“What _I_ ca’n’t get over,” said the Empress, in eager sympathy with her angry husband, “is the _table_!”
“It is much to be regretted!” the Professor mildly replied, as soon as he had a chance of speaking. After a moment’s thought he strengthened the remark. “_Everything_,” he said, addressing Society in general, “is _very much_ to be regretted!”
A murmur of “Hear, hear!” rose from the crowded Saloon.
There was a rather awkward pause: the Professor evidently didn’t know how to begin. The Empress leant forwards, and whispered to him. “A few jokes, you know, Professor—just to put people at their ease!”
“True, true, Madam!” the Professor meekly replied. “This little boy——”
“_Please_ don’t make any jokes about _me_!” Bruno exclaimed, his eyes filling with tears.
“I won’t if you’d rather I didn’t,” said the kind-hearted Professor. “It was only something about a Ship’s Buoy: a harmless pun—but it doesn’t matter.” Here he turned to the crowd and addressed them in a loud voice. “Learn your A’s!” he shouted. “Your B’s! Your C’s! And your D’s! _Then_ you’ll be at your ease!”
There was a roar of laughter from all the assembly, and then a great deal of confused whispering. “_What_ was it he said? Something about bees, I fancy——.”
The Empress smiled in her meaningless way, and fanned herself. The poor Professor looked at her timidly: he was clearly at his wits’ end again, and hoping for another hint. The Empress whispered again.
“Some spinach, you know, Professor, as a surprise.”
The Professor beckoned to the Head-Cook, and said something to him in a low voice. Then the Head-Cook left the room, followed by all the other cooks.
“It’s difficult to get things started,” the Professor remarked to Bruno. “When once we get started, it’ll go on all right, you’ll see.”
“If oo want to startle people,” said Bruno, “oo should put live frogs on their backs.”
Here the cooks all came in again, in a procession, the Head-Cook coming last and carrying something, which the others tried to hide by waving flags all round it. “Nothing but flags, Your Imperial Highness! Nothing but flags!” he kept repeating, as he set it before her. Then all the flags were dropped in a moment, as the Head-Cook raised the cover from an enormous dish.