Produced by Clarity, Heike Leichsenring and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
Transcriber's note: Obvious printer errors have been corrected. Ads for plays originally included at the beginning of the book have been joined to the further ads at the end of the book.
ALICE _A young lawyer_ DIANA _A fashionably dressed society woman_ BELL _A nervous charity worker_ MISS JOHNICKSTONER _A nervous stenographer_ MISS CHICKENFENCER _A vivacious stenographer_ MRS. BAXTER _A haughty society woman_ MISS WORKER _A prayerful salvation-army lassie_ MARY _An excitable suffragette_
Curtain is dropped between Scene I and II for a few minutes to denote lapse of time.
SCENE.--_A modern business office. Center door, desk in center covered with paper and letters; four office chairs, telephone, rug, etc., as may be available._ DISCOVERED: _ALICE seated at desk_.
DIANA. Well, Alice Berning, what do you mean by being indoors on such a beautiful day? Come, put on your wraps, my machine is----
ALICE. Diana, you are a regular steam engine. No, I cannot accept your kind invitation to go for a spin.
DIANA. Do you know what brought me here to-day? It was to ask you to accompany us on our tour through the north next week. (_Sits on arm of ALICE'S chair_) There's a dear. Say you will come. Why, you cannot imagine how disappointed Jack and I will be, not mentioning all our other guests, if you refuse.
ALICE. Really, Diana, I am very sorry to have to refuse. But I simply cannot go. Why, look at all this correspondence and no one but myself to answer it.
DIANA. Why don't you get a stenographer? Why not advertise?
ALICE. Oh, I've done that--I advertised for _a_ stenographer, and, would you believe it, when I came down this morning there were at least twenty-five applicants outside my door clamoring to get in.
ALICE. I interviewed each one separately, but found not one qualified to do my work. I verily believe if I encounter another applicant like any of my last ones I shall close up shop and bury myself in the woods. (_Woe-begone look_)
DIANA (_fingering cards and papers on desk_). Alice Marie Jenkins Berning, what does this mean? Why there isn't anything on these so-called letters but meaningless words. Since when did Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Courld, Mr. Montemout and all these other society favorites become your clients? Ah-ah--the plot thickens--so Dick has been consulting you, too? I suppose he wishes to sue for a separation or something like that. (_Cries wildly_) Oh dear, oh dear!