_Heart._ Your Ladyship does me Honour; you may command me and Mr. Canker shall be the Hero.
_Lady._ Really I am afraid his Character is so very high that the Audience will never allow it to be natural.
_Heart._ That part of the Audience who would know the Copy by themselves might condemn it through Policy as being exaggerated, but the Candid and Judicious who could not be hurt by it and who know the Nature of Envy would approve it. Besides Farce will admit of Characters being a little outre.
_Lady._ I protest you are a mighty good Critick, Mr. Heartly, but I am afraid we shall want Plot in our Petit Piece, Mr. Heartly.
_Heart._ Not at all, my Lady! There is no great Demand for Plot in a Farce, but to please the Criticks we'll have a little. The main Business must be the exposing an envious Author, and the Plot must be to provoke his Envy to neglect his Mistress and to quarrel with your Ladyship, the Poetical Justice of which must be your breaking off the intended Match, and giving me his Mistress, who am to be his Rival; and as the Piece is to be a temporary thing, I dare say the Audience will make reasonable Allowances.
_Lady._ I vow I like the Contrivance mightily, and I think there's something very Singular and very Novel.
_Trif._ And pray, Heartly, what part shall I have in it?
_Heart._ You shall be the Jack Maggot of the Farce, which shall be so trifling that you may be either kept in or left out.
_Sir Pat._ And what part shall I have in your Play, Mr. Heartly?
_Heart._ Really, Sir Patrick, I know no Business you can have in it, unless it be to make the Audience laugh.
_Sir Pat._ Faith then I have a good Hand at that--for I am so very witty that I always make Company laugh wherever I come.
_Nib._ Mr. Heartly, give me leave to tell you your Farce will never succeed, for your Characters will be too high for that Species of the Drama, and not half ridiculous enough.
_Heart._ To remedy that, Sir, we will bring in your Character at the End of the Farce as a Satyr upon all Criticks who find fault with Trifles.
_Trif._ Ha, ha, admirable! That will be delightful! Quite tip top or may I perish, ha.
_Lady._ Pray what shall we call our little Piece, Mr. Heartly?
_Heart._ Why really, Madam, I can't think of any Title better at present than the New Play Criticized, or the Plague of Envy.