"Whereas the King of Sweden has been so unfortunate to receive a wound in his heel; we do hereby prohibit all epigrammatists in either language, and both universities, as well as all other poets, of what denomination soever, to make any mention of Achilles having received his death's wound in the same part.
"We do likewise forbid all comparisons in coffee-houses between Alexander the Great and the said King of Sweden, and from making any parallels between the death of Patkul and Philotas;[133] we being very apprehensive of the reflections that several politicians have ready by them to produce on this occasion, and being willing, as much as in us lies, to free the town from all impertinences of this nature."
[129] A portion of this paper, commencing here, and ending with "all the caution imaginable" (p. 130), is printed in Scott's edition of Swift's Works, and was no doubt by the Dean. See No. 81, note.
[130] A penny postal system was established in London in 1683 by William Dockwra, a merchant, who was dismissed from his position as comptroller in 1700. In 1709, Charles Povey, a projector, started a halfpenny carriage of letters for the Metropolis, but in November the postmasters-general brought an action against him for an infringement of their monopoly, and Povey was fined £100.
[131] The _Mercure Gallant_ was published in 1673 and following years. A new periodical of the same name was begun in 1710.
[132] The _Gentleman's Journal; or, the Monthly Miscellany_, was published by Motteux between 1692 and 1694, in quarto.
From _Tuesday, Sept. 13_, to _Thursday, Sept. 15, 1709_.
The progress of our endeavours will of necessity be very much interrupted, except the learned world will please to send their lists to the chamber of fame[135] with all expedition. There is nothing can so much contribute to create a noble emulation in our youth, as the honourable mention of such whose actions have outlived the injuries of time, and recommended themselves so far to the world, that it is become learning to know the least circumstance of their affairs. It is a great incentive to see that some men have raised themselves so highly above their fellow-creatures; that the lives of ordinary men are spent in inquiries after the particular actions of the most illustrious. True it is, that without this impulse to fame and reputation, our industry would stagnate, and that lively desire of pleasing each other die away. This opinion was so established in the heathen world, that their sense of living appeared insipid, except their being was enlivened with a consciousness that they were esteemed by the rest of the world. Upon examining the proportion of men's fame for my table of twelve, I thought it no ill way, since I had laid it down for a rule, that they were to be ranked simply as they were famous, without regard to their virtue, to ask my sister Jenny's advice, and particularly mentioned to her the name of Aristotle. She immediately told me, he was a very great scholar, and that she had read him at the boarding-school. She certainly means a trifle sold by the hawkers, called "Aristotle's Problems." But this raised a great scruple in me, whether a fame increased by imposition of others is to be added to his account, or that these excrescences, which grow out of his real reputation, and give encouragement to others to pass things under the cover of his name, should be considered in giving him his seat in the chamber? This punctilio is referred to the learned. In the meantime, so ill-natured are mankind, that I believe I have names already sent me sufficient to fill up my lists for the dark room, and every one is apt enough to send in their accounts of ill deservers. This malevolence does not proceed from a real dislike of virtue, but a diabolical prejudice against it, which makes men willing to destroy what they care not to imitate. Thus you see the greatest characters among your acquaintance, and those you live with, are traduced by all below them in virtue, who never mention them but with an exception. However, I believe I shall not give the world much trouble about filling my tables for those of evil fame, for I have some thoughts of clapping up the sharpers there as fast as I can lay hold of them.