Let us hope, boys and girls, that this young man left the president’s office a wiser young man. Be sure not to follow his example. Don’t go around hunting for easy places.
Father and son, making the rounds of the Zoological gardens, paused before a cage containing a beautiful zebra.
“Oh, papa,” exclaimed the little boy, “see that donkey with a baseball sweater on!”
One cold winter night, about midnight, my good wife called to me, saying:
“What’s the matter?” I asked, with much alarm.
“Somebody’s in the dining-room; I heard them rattling the dishes just a minute ago.”
“I don’t hear anything, wife,” I said slowly.
“There’s somebody in these sure; I heard them myself. Do get up, Dan, before they take everything we’ve got.”
“I haven’t got a gun or any kind of weapon,” I said, still fighting for time.
“Well, get up and make a noise--walk around heavy--that’s frighten ’em and make ’em leave.”
I got up quietly, turned up the lamp, and looked about me with a sigh.
I tipped around to the wall on the side of the bed, and took down an old iron sword, which had done duty in the Mexican war, and which we had preserved as an heirloom.
I took the sword in one hand and the lamp in the other, and moved gently toward the door, which opened from our bed-room into the dining-room.
Humbly I placed the lamp on the floor close by the door, caught a tight grip on my old war-piece, and then quickly shoved the door wide open. I intended, of course, after getting my bearings, to pick up the lamp and enter the dining-room on a tour of inspection. But, I assure you, there was no time for any such careful procedure. As soon as the door was opened and the light went streaming into the dining-room, something fell to the floor with a terrible thud, and quicker than it takes to tell it a great big black something, that looked to me like a buffalo or elephant, came bounding toward me. It was all so sudden that it surprised me, and I fell back trembling. Over went the lamp. It broke. Out came the oil. It took fire, and pretty soon the Cambrequin close by took fire. Down I snatched it. I reached for the first thing handy, and tried to smother the fire on the floor. In doing so, I stepped on a piece of glass and cut my foot. I burnt my hands terribly. My night shirt caught on fire. I ran to the bed and sat down in order to quench the blaze. This shows I still had some presence of mind left, although, as a matter of fact, this new extinguishing process scorched my legs awfully.