I was mighty good-lookin' when I was young, Peart an' black-eyed an' slim, With fellers a-courtin' me Sunday nights, 'Specially Jim.
The likeliest one of 'em all was he, Chipper an' han'som' an' trim, But I tossed up my head an' made fun o' the crowds 'Specially Jim!
I said I hadn't no 'pinion o' men, An' I wouldn't take stock in him! But they kep' up a-comin' in spite o' my talk, 'Specially Jim!
I got so tired o' havin' 'em roun' ('Specially Jim!) I made up my mind I'd settle down An' take up with him.
So we was married one Sunday in church, 'Twas crowded full to the brim; 'Twas the only way to get rid of 'em all, 'Specially Jim.
O'Grady lived in Shanty row, The neighbors often said They wished that Tim would move away Or that his goat was dead. He kept the neighborhood in fear, And the children always vexed; They couldn't tell jist whin or where The goat would pop up next.
Ould Missis Casey stood wan day The dirty clothes to rub Upon the washboard, when she dived Headforemosht o'er the tub; She lit upon her back an' yelled, As she was lying flat: "Go git your goon an' kill the bashte." O'Grady's goat doon that.
Pat Doolan's woife hung out the wash Upon the line to dry. She wint to take it in at night, But stopped to have a cry. The sleeves av two red flannel shirts, That once were worn by Pat, Were chewed off almost to the neck. O'Grady's goat doon that.
They had a party at McCune's, An' they wor having foon, Whin suddinly there was a crash An' ivrybody roon. The iseter soup fell on the floor An' nearly drowned the cat; The stove was knocked to smithereens. O'Grady's goat doon that.
Moike Dyle was coortin' Biddy Shea, Both standin' at the gate, An' they wor just about to kiss Aich oother sly and shwate. They coom togither loike two rams. An' mashed their noses flat. They niver shpake whin they goes by. O'Grady's goat doon that.
O'Hoolerhan brought home a keg Av dannymite wan day To blow a cistern in his yard An' hid the stuff away. But suddinly an airthquake coom, O'Hoolerhan, house an' hat, An' ivrything in sight wint up. O'Grady's goat doon that.
An' there was Dooley's Savhin's Bank, That held the byes' sphare cash. One day the news came doon the sthreet The bank had gone to smash. An' ivrybody 'round was dum Wid anger and wid fear, Fer on the dhoor they red the whords, "O'Grady's goat sthruck here."