ALICE. Just a minute, please. I suppose you can dance, sing, flirt, cook, paint, etc., but can you take dictation, answer the telephone, and attend to an office in general?
ALICE. Well, then, I shall have to leave you for the present in charge here. I have an appointment. Now listen, I want it thoroughly understood that you are to treat all visitors with the deepest respect. Make them feel at home, and keep them here until I return. Now remember my directions, please. (EXIT ALICE C.D. _MISS PRUNE clears table; does away with all papers_)
MISS PRUNE. Oh, no, she has just gone out. But come right in and sit down; she will be back directly. (_Dusts chair for MRS. BAXTER; sits opposite her; sews_) Isn't it warm to-day? This morning I was down to the market and I am that tired. But it was worth it. Why I got the sweetest butter for 30 cents and a dandy head of cabbage for 4 cents; imagine that, 4 cents. How much do you pay for cheese?
MRS. BAXTER. Really--I haven't the slightest idea what my _servant_ pays for it.
MISS PRUNE. Well, now, isn't that too bad? Now if you knew, perhaps I could help you to buy it cheaper. Tell your servant to go down to Mulligan's market on Second Avenue, and you will be surprised at the results.
MRS. BAXTER. I haven't the least doubt. Will you please tell Miss Berning that I called. Here's my card. (_Walks to C.D._)
MISS PRUNE. But where are you going? You must wait until Miss Berning returns. Come now, let me take your hat and coat and make yourself comfortable. (_Pushes MRS. BAXTER into chair_)
MRS. BAXTER (_furious_). Will you kindly tell me the meaning of this? I command you to open that door and let me pass out.
MISS PRUNE. Now there, don't get excited. I have my orders to make visitors comfortable and I intend to carry them out. (_Telephone rings; MISS PRUNE looks around for button_) I suppose that is another visitor. I'll tick the button. (_Pushes button on wall; loud report; both jump_)
MRS. BAXTER. Good gracious, what are you trying to do, kill----
MISS PRUNE. Oh, that's all right; the old bell is out of order. But never mind. Here, (_Hands large book to MRS. BAXTER_) make yourself comfortable while I stand at the door to welcome the approaching guest. (_Stands at C.D.; looks up and down_)