Why is a good constitution like a money-box? Because its full value becomes known when it is broken.
Why is a flatterer like a microscope? Because he magnifies small things.
Why is a key like a prison? Because it is full of wards.
Why is a talkative young man like a young pig? Because he is likely to become a bore (boar).
Why is a city being destroyed like another being built? Because it is being razed (raised).
Why is a fit of coughing like the falls of Niagara? Because it is a catarrh-act (cataract).
If Tom owes Bob money and gives him a blow in the eye, why is that a satisfactory settlement? Because he gives his mark in black and white, a note of hand, and paid at sight.
Why are your lips always at variance? Because words are frequently passing between them.
Why is a butcher's cart like his boots? Because he carries his calves there.
Why is a thief in a garret like an honest man? Because he is above doing a bad action.
Why are bachelors like natives of Ceylon? Because they are single he's (Cingalese).
When is a window like a star? When it is a skylight.
What constellation most resembles an empty fire-place? The Great Bear (grate bare).
Why is a sick Jew like a diamond ring? Because he is a Jew ill (jewel).
Why are Irishmen like the Pope? Because they make bulls.
Why is a toll-collector at a bridge like a Jew? Because he keeps the pass-over (Passover).
What class of people bears a name meaning "I can't improve?" Mendicants (Mend I can't).
Why is the Commander-in-chief like a broker? Because he is a Commission-agent.
Why is an irritable man like an unskillful doctor? Because he is apt to lose his patience (patients).
When is a wall like a fish? When it is _scaled_.
Why is a village cobbler like a parson? Because he attends to the soles (souls) of the people.
When may a country gentleman's property be said to consist of feathers? When his estates are all entails (hen tails).
Why are certain Member's speeches in the _Times_ like a brick wall? Because nobody can get through them.
Why is a man searching for the philosopher's stone like Neptune? Because he is a-seeking (a sea king) what never existed.
Why is the Premier like an alchemist? Because he turns one of his friends into a gold-stick.