"I know that, my good fellow," was his answer, "but poor Stadt, you see, is gone for ever."
"That is not Stadt--it is I--it is I--will you not believe me! I am Stadt--this is not me--I am not myself. For heaven's sake suspend this funeral." Such were my exclamations, but they produced no other effect but that of pity among the bystanders.
"Poor unfortunate fellow, he is crazed. Get a porter, and let him be taken home."
This order, which was given by my cousin himself, stung me to madness, and, changing my piteous tones for those of fierce resistance, I swore that "I would not turn out for any man living. I would not be buried alive to please them." To this nobody made any reply, but in the course of a minute four stout porters made their appearance, and I was forced from the house.
Returning to Wolstang's lodgings, the old man was there in waiting, as he promised. "What," said I with trepidation,--"what is the scheme you were to propose? Tell me, and avert the horrible doom which will await me, for they have refused to suspend the funeral."
"My dear friend," said he in the most soothing manner, "your case is far from being so bad as you apprehend. You have just to write your name in this book, and you will be yourself again in an instant. Instead of coming alive in the grave, you will be alive before the coffin-lid is put on. Only think of the difference of the two situations."
"A confounded difference indeed," thought I, taking hold of the pen. But at the very moment when I was going to write, I observed above the following words:--
"I hereby engage, after my natural decease, to give over my soul to the owner of this book."
"What!" said I, "this is the old compact; the one you wished me to sign before?"
"Only think of the consequences," said he.
"I will abide the consequences rather than sell my soul."
"Only think of being buried alive," continued he,--"stifled to death--pent up on all sides--earth above, earth below--no hope--no room to move in--suffocated, stupified, horror-struck--utter despair. Is not the idea dreadful? Only think what your feelings will be, when you come to life in that narrow charnel-house, and know your situation."
I gave a shudder at this picture, which was drawn with horrible truth; but the energies of religion, and the hopes of futurity, rushed upon my soul, and sustained it in the dreadful trial. "Away, away," said I, pushing him back. "I have made up my mind to the sacrifice, since better may not be. Whatever happens to my body, I am resolved not to risk my eternal soul for its sake."