When would a bed make the best hunting ground?--When it is made anew for rest (a new forest).
Why are the labors of a translator likely to excite disgust? Because they produce a version (aversion).
Why is steam power in a locomotive like the goods lading a ship? Because it makes the car go (cargo).
Why was Grimaldi like a glass of good brandy and water? Because he was a tumbler of first-rate spirit.
Why is a man in jail and wishing to be out like a leaky boat? Because he requires bailing (baling) out.
Why is a congreve box without the matches superior to any other box? Because it is matchless.
Why was Phidias, the celebrated sculptor, laughed at by the Greeks? Because they said he cut a pretty figure.
Why are hot-house plants like drunkards? Because they have so many glasses over and above.
Why may a professor without students be said to be the most attentive of all teachers? Because he has only two pupils and they are always in his eye.
When is a maiden most chaste (chased). When she is most run after.
Why should a broken-hearted single young man lodger offer his heart in payment to his landlady? Because it is rent.
Why were the Russian accounts of the Crimean battles like the English and French? Because they were all lies (allies).
Why is a waiter like a race-horse? Because he runs for the plate.
Why is boots at an hotel like an editor? Because he polishes the understanding of his patrons.
Why is a very commonplace female a wonderful woman? Because she is an extra-ordinary one.
Why is a man not prepared to pay his acceptance when due like a pigeon without food? Because he has not provided for his bill.
Why is a plum-pudding like a logical sermon? Because it is full of raisins (reasons).
Why are young children like castles in the air? Because their existence is only infancy (in fancy).
Why is a ticket-porter like a thief? Because he takes other people's property.
When a horse speaks, why does he do so always in the negative? Because he neighs (nays).
Why is a boiled herring like a rotten potato? Because it is deceased (diseased).
Why is a cat like a tattling person? Because it is a tail-bearer (tale-bearer).
Why is it impossible that there should be one best horse on a race-course? Because you will always find a better (bettor) there.