Betsey almost quailed before my lofty glance and voice, but continued on cleavin’ to the subject--“How awful and revolting it would sound to hear the faih and softeh sex talking about tariffs and caurkusses.”
“I don’t know,” says I, “but I had as lives hear ’em talk about caurkusses, as to hear ’em backbitin’ thier neighbors and tearin’ the charicters of other wimmen into bits, or talkin’ about such little things as wimmen will; why in a small place, a woman can’t buy a calico apron without the neighborhood holdin’ a inquest over it. Some think she ort to have it, some think it is extravagant in her, and some think the set flower on it is too young for her, and then they will all quarrel agin whether she ort to make it with a bib or not.” Says I “the very reason why men’s talk as a general thing is nobler than wimmen’s, is because they have nobler things to think about.” Says I “Betsey Bobbet, when did you ever know a passel of men to set down and spend a whole afternoon talkin’ about each other’s vest, and mistrustin’ such a feller painted; fill a woman’s mind with big, noble sized thoughts, and she won’t talk such little back bitin’ gossip as she does now.”
“Josiah Allen’s wife,” says Betsey, “I shall always say it is not woman’s speah to vote.”
“No,” says Josiah, “it hain’t; wimmen would vote for the handsomest men, and the men that praised thier babys, they wouldn’t stand up onto principal as men do, and then, how they would clog up the road ’lection day, tryin’ to get all the news they could, wimmen have got such itchin’ ears.”
“Itchin’ ears!” says I, “principle!” says I, in low but awful deep tones of voice, “Josiah Allen, it seems to me, that I wouldn’t try to stand up onto principle agin, till the pantaloons are wore out you hired a man with to vote your ticket.” He begun to look sheepish at once, and I continued in still more awful accents, “talk about itchin’ ears, Josiah Allen! here you have sot all the mornin’ blackin’ your boots, you have rubbed them boots till you have most rubbed holes through ’em, jest for an excuse to set here and hear me and Betsey Bobbet talk. And it hain’t the first time nuther, for I have known you Josiah Allen, when I have had female visitors, to leave your work and come in and lay on that lounge behind the stove till you was most sweltered, pretendin’ you was readin’.”