“He cuc-cuc-can’t be afraid of ru-ru-robbers,” grinned Joe Gamp, “’cuc-’cuc-’cause he never has enough mum-money to tut-tempt a robber who was lul-lul-looking for the price of a drink.”
“Still he does put his pocketbook under his pillow, I’ve heard,” declared Berlin. “And for that very reason he reminds me of a thrifty business man.”
“Why,” said Carson, “he wants to feel that he has money to retire on.”
Ready threw up his hands, uttered a terrible groan, and fell heavily on Bruce Browning, who was stretched on the couch. He rebounded with a springing movement, however, and leaped away in time to escape a kick from the big senior’s heavy foot.
“Please have your fits elsewhere!” rumbled Bruce, with a glare at Jack, who was bowing profoundly and humbly craving pardon.
“I don’t know where else I can find anything so soft to fall on,” declared Ready.
“Say,” smiled Bruce, “will you find a way to repress your idiocy for a short time?”
“Idiocy!” exclaimed Jack, with an expression of despair. “Did I hear aright? And only yesterday I had not been talking to him five minutes before he called me an ass.”
“That reminds me of something I said the last time I attended the theater,” Ready asserted. “The play was over, the orchestra was playing a lively march, all the people were moving toward the doors. I looked up, and right over one of those doors I saw the word ’exit’ in large gilt letters. Then I said something real witty.”
“I said, ‘That lets me out,’” explained Jack. “Ha! ha! ha! That’s what you call pure, unadulterated wit. Have a laugh with me! Ha! ha! Why, I’m budding into a second Sydney Smith, and Syd was the real thing.”
“You will be nipped in the bud if you’re not careful,” said Frank. “Sit down, Jack, and let up for a while. You’ve had your mouth open long enough to thoroughly ventilate your system for an hour, at least.”
“And there has been an awful escape of gas,” said Carson.
“You’ve run your race,” declared Greg Carker, with a solemn wave of his hand. “Stand aside now.”
“Is the earthquake coming?” awesomely inquired Jack. “If so, I’ll get out of the old thing’s track in a hurry, Cark.”
“Speaking about races,” put in Bingham, the sophomore, “I heard a strange rumor to-day. It was to the effect that Merry has been asked by the freshmen to give them a little coaching, and has agreed to do so. I can’t believe it, for it seems to me that he has his hands full without bothering with the freshmen crew. I’m sure it isn’t true, is it, Merriwell?”