119. Cato Major used to say, That wise men learnt more from fools, than fools from wise men.
120. A braggadocio chancing, upon an occasion, to run away full speed, was asked by one, What was become of that courage he used so much to talk of? It is got, said he, all into my heels.
121. Somebody asked my Lord Bacon what he thought of poets? Why, said he, I think them the very best writers next to those who write in prose.
122. A profligate young nobleman, being in company with some sober people, desired leave to toast the devil. The gentleman, who sat next to him, said, He had no objection to any of his lordship’s friends.
123. A Scotsman was very angry with an English gentleman, who, he said, had abused him, and called him, false Scot. Indeed, said the Englishman, I said no such thing, but that you were a true Scot.
124. The late Commissary-General G―ley, who once kept a glass-shop, having Colonel P―c―k’s regiment under a muster, made great complaints of the men’s appearance, &c., and said that the regiment ought to be broke. Then, sir, said the Colonel, perhaps you think a regiment is as soon broke as a looking-glass.
125. Curll, the bookseller, being under examination at the bar of the House of Lords, for publishing the posthumous works of the late Duke of Buckingham, without leave of the family, told their Lordships in his defence, That if the duke was living, he was sure he would readily pardon the offence.
126. Mr. E―ll―s, the painter, having finished a very good picture of Figg, the prize-fighter, who had been famous in getting the better of several Irishmen of the same profession, the piece was shown to old Johnson the player, who was told at the same time, that Mr. E―ll―s designed to have a mezzotinto print taken from it, but wanted a motto to be put under it. Then, said old Johnson, I’ll give you one: A Fig for the Irish.
127. A gentleman coming to an inn in Smithfield, and seeing the ostler expert and tractable about the horses, asked how long he had lived there, and what countryman he was? I’se Yorkshire, said the fellow, and ha’ lived sixteen years here. I wonder, replied the gentleman, that, in so long a time, so clever a fellow as you seem to be, have not come to be master of the inn yourself. Ay, answered the ostler, but maister’s Yorkshire too.
