_Cockney Sporting Gent._ "But I think it's a 'en!"
_Sandy (his keeper)._ "Shoot, man, shoot! She'll be no muckle the waur o' ye!!"]
_Friend (to novice at salmon fishing)._ "I say, old boy, mind how you wade; there are some tremendous holes, fourteen or fifteen feet deep."]
_Our latest Millionaire_ (_to Gillie, who has brought him within close range of the finest stag in the forest_). "I say, Mac, confound it all, _which eye do you use_?"]
[Illustration: _English Tourist (in the far North, miles from anywhere)._ "Do you mean to say that you and your family live here all the winter? Why, what do you do when any of you are ill? You can never get a doctor!"
_Scotch Shepherd._ "Nae, sir. We've just to dee a natural death!"]
[Illustration: SCENE--A ROADSIDE INN IN A MOORLAND DISTRICT, SCOTLAND
(_The Captain and Gamekeeper call in to have some Refreshment_)
_Landlady_ (_enters in fear_). "Eh, sir, yer gun's no loaded is't? for a never would bide in a hoose whaur the wur a loaded gun in a' m'life."
_Captain_ (_composedly_). "Oh, we'll soon put that all right--have you got a cork?"
[_Exit Landlady and brings a cork, which the Captain carefully sticks in the muzzle of the gun, and assures her it is all right now_--
_Landlady_ (_relieved_). "Ou, aye! it's a' right noo, but it wasna safe afore, ye ken."]
_Transatlantic Millionaire (surveying one of his deer-forests)._ "Ha! look there! I see _three excursionists_! Send 'em to the----!"
_Gigantic Gillie (and chucker-out)._ "If you please, Mr. Dollers, they're _excisemen_!"
_T. M._ "I don't care _who_ they are! Send 'em to the----!"
[Illustration: Sportsman (who declines to be told where to go and what to do by his gillie), after an arduous stalk in the blazing sun, at last manages to crawl within close range of those "brown specks" he discovered miles distant on the hill-side!]
_Highland Grocer._ "Decent cigars? Ay, here are decent cigars enough."
_Tourist._ "Are they Havanahs, or Manillas?"
_Highland Grocer._ "They're just from Kircaldy!"]
_Gillie._ "Eh, mon! But it's fortunate there's beef in Aberdeen!"]
[Illustration: Mr. Briggs, feeling that his heart is in the Highlands a-chasing the deer, starts for the North.]
[Illustration: Before going out, Mr. Briggs and his friends have a quiet chat about deer-stalking generally. He listens with much interest to some pleasing anecdotes about the little incidents frequently met with--such as balls going through caps--toes being shot off!--occasionally being gored by the antlers of infuriate stags, &c., &c., &c.]