Why is the inside of everything mysterious? Because we can't make it out.
Why should a man troubled with gout make his will? Because he will then have his leg at ease (legatees).
What is that which no one wishes to have, yet no one wishes to lose? A bald head.
What is the difference between a young maiden of sixteen and an old maid of sixty? One is happy and careless, the other cappy and hairless.
Why are very old people necessarily prolix and tedious? Because they die late (dilate).
A lady asked a gentleman how old he was? He answered, "My age is what you do in everything--excel" (XL).
My first I do, and my second--when I say you are my whole--I do not? Love-lie (lovely).
What is that a woman frequently gives her lovely countenance to, yet never takes kindly? The small-pox.
Who was the fastest runner in the world? Adam. How so? Because he was first in the human race.
Who was the first to swear in this world? Eve. How so? When Adam asked her if he might take a kiss, she said, I don't care A dam if you do.
When were walking-sticks first mentioned in the Bible? When Eve presented Adam with a little Cain (cane).
Why had Eve no fear of the measles? Because she'd Adam (had'em)!
What fur did Adam and Eve wear? Bear (bare) skin.
Why was Herodias' daughter the _fastest_ girl mentioned in the New Testament? Because she got _a-head_ of John the Baptist on a _charger_.
When is a lady deformed? When mending stockings, as then her hands are where her tootsicums, her feet ought to be!
What is that which a young girl looks for, but does not wish to find? A hole in her stocking!
Why is the proprietor of a balloon like a phantom? Because he's an airy-naught (aeronaut).
Why is a fool in a high station like a man in a balloon? Because everybody appears little to him, and he appears little to everybody!
Why is the flight of an eagle _also_ a most unpleasant sight to witness? Because it's an eye-sore ('igh soar)!
Why do little birds in their nest agree? For fear of falling out.
Which of the feathered tribe can lift the heaviest weights? The crane.
And if you saw a peach with a bird on it, and you wished to get the peach without disturbing the bird, what would you do? Do? why--wait till he flew off.
Why is a steam engine at a fire an anomaly? Because it works and plays at the same time.