Fascinating is OSCAR WILDE's paper "On the Decay of Lying," which is the first essay in a book of his entitled _Intentions_. If it be true that the art of lying is decaying--but, stay! how can anyone take the word of a professor of the art of lying for this or any other fact? No, his motto must be, "See me reverse." Not that by suggesting this motto I would for a moment be understood as expressing a wish for OSCAR's once again dropping into poetry--that OSCAR should once again take to the other sort of Lyre; far from it. No; let him remain the head professor of the gay science of mendacity in the Cretan College. Now, when a Professor and double M.A., i.e., Master of the Mendacious Art in the Cretan College, says or writes one thing, he must be taken as meaning exactly the opposite. Otherwise he is no Cretan, and must be degraded from his Professorship. Bearing this in mind, the essay is, as I have said, in matter most amusing, and in style charming. Remember, my reader, that whosoever and whatsoever is blamed, abused, or flouted in this essay, is really being praised, lauded, and adulated to the skies by the Cretan critic. But when the M.M.A. writes on other subjects, are we to trust him? there's the difficulty. So after the first essay, which is hereby recommended by the Faculty, the Baron puts the book aside. "_Caute legendum_," says
AN OLD-FASHIONED BUFFER ON BALFOUR'S BILL.
State-aided purchase? That sounds mighty well _I_ look on it as a State-aided _Sell_!
[Illustration: OUR ARTISTS ARE SOMETIMES COMPENSATED FOR ALL THEY HAVE TO PUT UP WITH.
_Young R.A._ (_newly-elected_). "WHAT, NOT SEEN OUR ROYAL ACADEMY YET, MISS VON THUMP! DON'T YOU CARE FOR PICTURES, THEN?" _Fair American_. "WELL, SOME. BUT YOUR ROYAL ACADEMY'S RATHER CROWDED, YOU KNOW!"
_Pictor Ignotus_ (_who hates the Academy like poison_), "PERHAPS MISS VON TRUMP PREFERS OUR NATIONAL GALLERY. _THAT'S_ NOT INCONVENIENTLY CROWDED!"
_Fair American_. "WELL, YES. I LIKE TO GO AND SIT IN A NICE, COOL, QUIET, DESERTED SPOT, LIKE YOUR NATIONAL GALLERY,--WITH A BOUND-UP VOLUME OF _PUNCH_! THAT'S MY IDEA OF PICTURES!"]