But I perceiving that God already had shewed himselfe angry, and justly taken from me, what by unlawfull meanes I had in twelve yeers obtained, bad Satan avaunt, purposing never more to returne to the flesh pots of _Egypt_, and to goe still home-wards, though in the way I did beg my bread. Yet (lest I might be suspected amongst the _Spaniards_, and troubled for not exercising my orders and function) I resolved to take what as to a stranger and traveller for preaching or any other exercise might be offered unto me.
Thus with courage resolving to goe on still towards _England_, I enquired at _Carthago_ which way I might get to _Portobelo_. But this doore of hope was fast shut up; though my trust in Gods providence was not weakened. In this season, there came to _Carthago_ some two or three hundred Mules unsadled or unloaden with some _Spaniards, Indians_, and _Black-mores_, from the parts of _Comayagua_ and _Guatemala_ to convey them to _Panama_ by land, over the mountaines of _Veragua_ there to be sold. This is the yeerly and onely trading by land, which _Guatemala, Comayagua_, and _Nicaragua_, hath with _Panama_ over that narrow _Isthmus_ lying between the North, and South sea, which is very dangerous by reason of the craggy waies, rockes, and mountaines, but more especially, by reason of many Heathens, Barbarians and savage people, which as yet are not conquered by the _Spaniards_, and sometimes do great hurt and mischief, and kill those that with Mules passe through their Countrey, especially if they misdemean themselves, or please them not well. Yet for all these difficulties, I was entertaining a thought to go along with those Mules and _Spaniards_, which were now on their way by land to _Panama_. The three _Spaniards_ were halfe of the same mind; but the providence of God who better ordereth and disposeth mans affaires then he himselfe, disappointed these our thoughts for our good and safety, as after we were informed; for we heard for certain at _Nicoya_, that some of those Mules and _Spaniards_ were killed by the _Barbarians_ and savage _Indians_, amongst whom my life might have been lost, if I had attempted that hard and dangerous journey; from which many well wishers at _Carthago_ did disswade me, both for the danger of the _Indians_, and for the difficulties of the waies and mountaines, which they told me the weakenesse of my body would never indure. After we had wholly desisted from this Land journey, the best counsell, that we had from some Merchants our friends, was to try whether _Mar del Zur_, or the South sea, would favour our designe and journey, better then the _Mar del Norte_, or the North sea had done; who wished us to goe to _Nicoya_, and from thence to _Chira_, and to the _Golfo de Salinas_, where they doubted not but we should find shipping to _Panama_. Wee were willing to follow any good advise and counsell; yet we knew that this was the last shift which we could make, and the _non plus ultra_ of our hopes, and that if here we should be disappointed, we could expect no other way ever to get to _Panama_, except we should venture our lives most desperately over the mountaines of _Veragua_, and by land without any guide or company through the Countrey of the Barbarians, (who before had slaine some _Spaniards_ passing that way) or else should returne againe, all the way that we had come, to _Realejo_, where our hopes might be frustrated, and peradventure no shipping found for _Panama_, without a yeers waiting for it.