212. An Englishman going into one of the French ordinaries in Soho, and finding a large dish of soup with about half-a-pound of mutton in the middle of it, began to pull off his wig, his stock, and then his coat; at which one of the monsieurs, being much surprised, asked him what he was going to do? Why, monsieur, I mean to strip, that I may swim through this ocean of porridge, to yon little island of mutton.
213. A countryman driving an ass by St. James’s gate one day, which being dull and restive, he was forced to beat it very much; a gentleman coming out of the gate, chid the fellow for using his beast so cruelly; Oh dear, sir, said the countryman, I am glad to find my ass has a friend at court.
214. One Irishman meeting another, asked, What was become of their old acquaintance Patrick Murphy? Arrah, now, dear honey, answered the other, poor Pat was condemned to be hanged; but he saved his life by dying in prison.
215. Another Irishman, getting on a high-mettled horse, it ran away with him; upon which, one of his companions called to him to stop him: Arrah, honey, cried he, how can I do that, when I have got no spurs?
216. An honest Welch carpenter, coming out of Cardiganshire, got work in Bristol, where, in a few months, he had saved, besides his expenses, about twelve shillings; and with this prodigious sum of money, returning into his own country, when he came upon Mile Hill, he looked back on the town: Ah, poor Pristow, said he, if one or two more of hur countrymen were to give hur such another shake as hur has done, it would be poor Pristow indeed.
217. It being asked in company with my Lord C―d, whether the piers of Westminster bridge would be of stone or wood, Oh, said my lord, of stone to be sure, for we have too many wooden piers (peers) already at Westminster.
218. One telling Charles XII. of Sweden, just before the battle of Narva, that the enemy was three to one; I am glad to hear it, answered the king, for then there will be enough to kill, enough to take prisoners, and enough to run away.
219. A poor ingenious lad, who was a servitor at Oxford, not having wherewithal to buy a new pair of shoes, when his old ones were very bad, got them capped at the toes, upon which being bantered by some of his companions, Why should they not be capped, said he, I am sure they are Fellows.
