"To be a lady and to cook, of course," he said.
"Myself--1," he replied; "the lady--2; the cook--3."
"No, I couldn't," said Ben. "I couldn't lend myself to such a _ménage_."
"But it would be all right," said Tubby. "The cook would act as chaperon when I was talking with the lady; and the lady would be on the watch when I was visiting the kitchen. I want a lady-cook. I feel I should be a better man if I had the constant society of a lady-cook--or a cook-lady, I don't mind which."
"Then will you get me a valet-governess?" Tubby asked. "I have a passion for hyphenated assistance."
"You haven't got any children," said Ben.
"No, but I have clothes," said Tubby. "And I'll hire a child. Anything to persuade a valet-governess to stay."
"Tubby, you're wasting my time," said Ben. "Go back to the Treasury or wherever it is you sleep."
"Listen to her!--" Tubby invoked the ceiling. "She advertises herself as 'The Beck and Call' and she turns away business! She is rude to clients! I came here with money in my purse to try and do you a good turn, and you spurn me. Now, my dear Ben, be serious. Will you get me a chauffeur-billiard-marker?"
"No!" said Ben, lifting up a paper-weight, as Tubby made for the door.
He did, however, go; but three minutes later reappeared.
"I've been talking to the sportsman outside," he said. "A clever child. I have asked him to come to me as a butler-secretary and he seems keen. Do you mind?"
"If you rob me of Dolly," said Ben, "I'll never speak to you again."
"I must do something," said Tubby. "It would be a very serious thing for you if I went about London telling everybody that I had been to 'The Beck and Call' with quite a number of needs and not one could you satisfy. Grant me one request anyway. Grant me!"
"Give me leave to read a novel by Erckmann-Chatrian."
She was a plump and kindly lady of a little more than middle age, with evidences of wealth about her and a handkerchief ready for service.
"You don't know me," she said to Ben, "but I know you, or rather all about you. In a kind of way we're relations."
"If there is such a thing as a step-aunt," said the lady, "I'm one. I'm Belle's sister."
"Of course," said Ben, sympathetically. "I've heard about you. Your son died quite recently. I'm so sorry."