_Stella._ Well, mysterious “Festus,” what new fancy is agitating your fertile brain?
_Festus._ Madam, to tell you the truth, I was--thinking--of you.
_Stella._ Of me, or of your future salary?
_Festus._ (_Very awkward and confused._) That I think--I think--that you--you--are--are--
_Festus._ (_Abruptly._) A very fine reader.
_Festus._ That is all I am at liberty to mention.
_Stella._ What if I should grant you liberty to say more?
_Festus._ Oh! then--then I should say--I should say--
_Stella._ (_Aside._) Stupid! (_Aloud._) Well, sir, what shall I read?
_Festus._ Oh! oblige me by making your own selection.
_Stella._ There’s “The Bells,” by Poe. Do you like that?
_Stella._ But I don’t know how to read it: it’s very difficult.
_Festus._ Perhaps I can assist you. (_Aside._) I’ll provoke her a bit; see if she has a temper.
_Stella._ Well, you are very kind. (_Aside._) I’ll see if I can make him talk.
_Festus._ Well, then, you take the book, and read. (_Hands her copy of Poe._) When I think you need correcting, I will speak.
_Stella._ Very well. (_They sit, C. STELLA reads in a very tragic tone, emphasizing the words in italics._)
“Hear the sledges with the _bells_, Silver _bells_!”
_Festus._ Oh, stop, stop, stop! Dear me! that’s not the way to read. There’s no silver in _your_ bells. Listen:--
“Hear the sledges with the bells, _Sil_-ver bells!”
_Stella._ Oh, yes! excuse me. (_Reads in a very silly tone._)
“Hear the sledges with the bells, Sil----ver bells!”
_Festus._ Oh, no, no! that’s too _sil_ly.
_Festus._ I mean, there’s too much of the _sil_ in _silver_. (_Repeats his reading. She imitates it._)
_Festus._ Ah! that’s better. Thank you: you are charming. (_She looks at him._) That is, a charming reader. Go on.
“What a world of merriment their melody foretells! How they tinkle”--
_Festus._ (_Interrupting._) I beg your pardon: “twinkle.”
_Stella._ Look for yourself. (_Shows him the book._)
_Festus._ My stars! it is “tinkle.” I beg your pardon. Go on.
“How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, In the icy air”--
_Festus._ Well, I declare! It is, _I see_, _icy_. I beg your pardon. Go on.
_Stella._ I see, I see. You are bent on interrupting me. What do you mean, sir?
_Festus._ What can you expect, if you don’t know how to read?