I pretty soon gave up that employment, and amused myself instead with pelting the cats on the fence with a few marbles, and trying on my uniform, to see how I looked in it; until Aunt Elsie relented, I suppose, for she came up and asked me through the keyhole if I was sorry, and wouldn't do any more. You can fancy what my answer was, and after dinner I got permission to go out and play on the sidewalk.
Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined me there pretty soon, and we had such fun playing "tag" and driving hoop. It wasn't hoop _time_, to be sure, but that was no matter. Then, when we were tired of that, we all sat down together on the upper step of No. 9, and began talking about their school and mine, and what we learned.
"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" asked Nelly. "My teacher, Miss Backboard, always gives the girls each a piece of poetry every Friday; so we call that poetry day."
"I used to learn pieces too," I said; "but I don't care much for poetry unless it's funny."
"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, of course, when a _lady_ asked me I had to, though I felt pretty bashful; so I began.
(AS TOLD BY BOBBY BREAKWINDOW, A SCHOOLBOY.)
Oh dear! was there ever anybody so unlucky as I am, From General ----, who lost that battle t'other day, all the way back to Priam! Come, sit down--do, and let me tell you all about it, and what's the matter; Perhaps it will do me good to have a nice, comfortable, miserable chatter. To begin, then. This morning I woke, and thought I was up with the sun. So never hurried myself; but dressed slow, and came down, to find breakfast all done, And nothing left for me but one cold slapjack, and all the chicken gone, Unless, to be sure, I could have eaten the drumsticks, and one perfectly clean breast bone! And, of course, I had to make haste, for it was nine o'clock and after, And the master had offered a prize to the earliest boy--and here was I beaten by even lazy Tommy Shafter! But it was no use to fret, so I snatched up my satchel, and would have been off in a minute, When lo and behold! my geography was gone; and though we hunted the house, it was plain it wasn't in it, Till at last I remembered that yesterday I had gone after school to the dog pound, And then been fishing with Fred Lee; so, probably, it was at the bottom of the frog pond! Well, off to school I went, and came in after every schoolmate; So, to pay me off, the schoolmaster and all the boys called me Bobby Toolate! But that wasn't all; for the class was just up for spelling, And I didn't know the lesson, and Tommy Shafter prompted me to spell boots _butes_; and that's all I got for telling, Besides going to the foot of the class, and having to get the lesson over; I tell you what! a hand-organ monkey's life, compared to a schoolboy's, is perfect rolling in clover! And I wish I was a monkey, if I did get beaten--yes, that I do-- In a red coat all over spangles, and blue trowsers, and a long tail behind to come through! Well, thank goodness, it's over; but that's not the half of my pother; For the very minute I got out of school, Tommy Shafter began to plague and bother, And wanted me to ride on the gate with him that goes in to his grandfather Chowser's; So I did; but there's spikes on the top of that gate; and, confound it, I went to work and tore my trowsers! Just then along came Miss Kitty Snow, and didn't I look dashing, And that hateful Tommy Shafter bawled out "How are you, trowsers?" and jumped down and walked off with her; but just see if I don't give him a thrashing! To pay him off for what he did and more too; for, when I came home weeping and wailing, Pa boxed my ears, and said I was such a bad boy I shouldn't go with him now out sailing; So I had the pleasure of seeing the rockaway drive up to the door, And pa and ma getting in, and sister Tilly, and brother Sam, and ever so many more, All looking so happy and gay, and not caring a bit for poor Bobby, Just as if I _wanted_ to get into scrapes, and mischief and bad conduct were quite my hobby! Then off they whirled; and as I was left alone, I thought I might as well be up and doing. Oh, good gracious, why didn't I sit still? but how could I tell what was brewing? So I went to the stable to see our big dog Rover, and thought I would take him out with me; When, just as I had slipped his chain, he broke loose, and ran, I don't know where! and, I'm sure, pa will never forgive me! For he thought so much of Rover. Oh, dear me, what shall I do? If it would be any use in the world, I really think I should begin to boohoo! The stable boy told me not to take him; but I should like to see myself minding him _rather_; And of course, out of revenge, he'll just go and make the worst of it to father.