MRS. L. Confessed that he was the real culprit----
MRS. L. And received Mr. Swansdown's fire----
LARK. Yes. (_recollecting_) No; that is---- (_aside_) Zounds! nothing was said about _that._
MRS. L. Poor Mr. Woodcock! Which arm was it?
LARK. Eh--why--the arm that held the sword!
LARK. Yes--no, I mean the pistol! (_aside_) Now to find Woodcock, and put him on his guard. (_turns and sees WOODCOCK, who enters at L., with his left arm in a sling--aside_) Huzzah! he's got his arm in a sling!
MRS. L. (_looking at WOODCOCK, who comes slowly forward, as if very much ashamed of himself_) It is true, then. Unhappy man, I pity you!
WOOD. (_assuming a very penitential voice and manner_) I don't deserve it.
LARK. (_aside_) Confound it! he's got the _wrong_ arm in the sling! Ahem! (_making violent signs to WOODCOCK to change arms_)
MRS. L. (_looking at WOODCOCK_) Why, how's this? (_to LARKINGS_) You told me Mr. Woodcock's wound was in the right arm!
MRS. L. Yes--you distinctly said "the arm that held the pistol."
WOOD. (_very quietly, C._) That's quite right! I'm a left-handed Woodcock.
MRS. L. (_L._) It's very shocking! but there's something worse behind.
MRS. L. I mean that Mrs. Colonel Carver knows everything. She'll return immediately; when she's done screaming, your only hope is to plead guilty at once and sue for pardon for Caroline's sake--you know that's her tender point!
WOOD. I will! I'll throw myself at once upon her tender point.
MRS. C. (_without_) Don't tell me! I can't--I won't believe it!
_Enter MRS. CARVER, hurriedly, R., and sees WOODCOCK with his arm in the sling._
MRS. C. (_assuming a very pathetic attitude_) Ah! it's true! (_screams and falls into chair, MRS. LARKINGS runs to her--WOODCOCK and LARKINGS exchange winks and laugh_)
MRS. L. (_to MRS. C._) Hush! the arm is only slightly, very slightly wounded.
MRS. C. I know better! they'll have to amputate it! I shall have a one-armed son-in-law--a wretched, helpless cripple! (_suddenly to MRS. LARKINGS_) My dear friend, go to poor dear Caroline--don't leave her till I've had time to do all my screaming! I know I screamed in the cab, but not half enough! Go, go!
_Exit MRS. LARKINGS, C., followed by LARKINGS, who again exchanges winks, &c., with WOODCOCK._