"You can't marry a man without taking his faults with his virtues,"
and love must be strong enough to stand, not storms alone, but the minor miseries of life, the incessant pinpricks, the dreary days when the smile abroad has become the scowl at home. At best, her husband will be capricious, hard to please, and though rabidly jealous without cause, at the same time very partial to the attractions of other women. He usually needs the attention of the whole household, which his varying health and moods keep in a mingled state of anxious solicitude and smouldering resentment.
His infirmity may mean a very secluded and humdrum life. She will have to make home an ever-cheery place, an ideal that means hard work and self-sacrifice through lonesome years in which her nobility will be unrecognized and unrewarded.
A woman fond of amusements and sport, and having many acquaintances would find this unbearable. Any happiness in marriage to a neuropath is largely dependent on the self-sacrifice of the wife.
Should marriage occur, the wife must judiciously curb her husband's passions without driving him to other women by coldness, a problem which is often solved by separation. The suggestion should never come from her, and the more she can curb his ardour by tactful suggestion, the healthier will he and the happier will she be, for nothing causes such an irritable, nervous state as excessive coitus.
She will often have to give way in this matter, but must be firm on the necessity for preventing conception, for she can only bear a tainted child; her responsibility is great, and she must _insist_ that her husband use those simple methods which prevent conception, thereby ending in himself one branch of a worthless tree. This must be done at any cost, for her happiness is nought compared to the welfare of future generations. Bitter though it be that no fruit of her womb may call her blessèd, it is less bitter than hearing her children call themselves accursèd.
"So many severall wayes are we plagued and punished for our father's defaultes, that it is the greatest part of our felicity to be well born, and it were happy for humankind if only such parentes as are sounde of body and mind should be suffered to marry. An Husbandman will sow none but the choicest seed upon his lande; he will not reare a bull nor an horse, except he be right shapen in all his parts, or permit him to cover a mare, except he be well assured of his breed; we make choice of the neatest kine, and keep the best dogs, and how careful then should we be in begetting our children? In former tyme, some countreys have been so chary in this behalf, so stern, that if a child were crooked or deformed in body or mind, they made it away; so did the Indians of old, and many other well gouverned Commonwealths, according to the discipline of those times. Heretofore in Scotland, if any were visited with the falling sickness, madness, goute, leprosie, or any such dangerous disease, which was like to be propagated from the father to the son, he was instantly gelded; a woman kept from all company of men; and if by chance, having some such disease, she was found to be with child she with her brood were buried alive; and this was done for the common good, lest the whole nation should be injured or corrupted. A severe doom, you will say, and not to be used among Christians. Yet to be more looked into than it is. For now, by our too much facility in this kind, in giving way to all to marry that will, too much liberty and indulgence in tolerating all sorts, there is a vast confusion of hereditary diseases; no family secure, no man almost free from some grievous infirmity or other. Our generation is corrupt, we have so many weak persons, both in body and mind, many feral diseases raging among us, crazed families: our fathers bad, and we like to be worse."