’Take a pew, Florrie,’ said Ross to me. I took one and hoped I looked shy and modest.
’I want,’ said Ross, bursting with newly married pride and importance, ’to rent a small house for myself and my er——’
The agent coughed discreetly and said, ’Quite so.’
My face by this time was perfectly crimson with suppressed laughter. I hope Mr Cardew Thompkins thought it was shy blushes.
’The house must be as small as possible,’ continued Ross, ’and quite new, with no garden, as my wife doesn’t like slugs, do you, lovey? It must be in a row, or at most, semi-detached, as my er——’
’My wife is nervous at nights. We haven’t been married very long,’ said the incorrigible Ross in a burst of confidence.
’We should like it opposite a railway station, if possible, and we want white paint—enamel, I mean—and fireplaces with tiled hearths, nice cheerful wall-papers, and a dodo in the hall.’
’What, sweetie?’ said Ross, ’what did you say, my pet?’
’But it must be quite a new house,’ said Ross, as I didn’t answer, ’as you don’t like beetles, do you, duckie? We don’t even mind if it isn’t quite finished, because——’ Here Ross’s powers of invention mercifully failed him.
’Because,’ said the agent, ’then you could choose your own decoration. I quite understand.’
I was pulp by this time, and as I was in imminent danger of exploding I retired to the window and made curious noises into my handkerchief, while the house agent looked through a number of small cards in a little box.
’You’re in a draught, my pretty,’ said Ross, ’come and sit near to hubby, while Mr Cardew Thompkins writes us the order to view.’
I came lest worse should befall me, and Ross tried to hold my hand but didn’t succeed.
’There’s a little old house out at Crosslanes,’ began the agent—Ross nudged me violently.
’Also one at Stoke, which is slightly larger and older.’
’It’s beginning to work,’ whispered Ross.
’I will give you orders to view both of these.’
’I haven’t actually seen them myself,’ said Mr Cardew Thompkins, ’but I think from the description of your requirements they are just what you need. Good-morning.’
If he had looked out of his office window a moment later he would have seen Ross and me with our handkerchiefs stuffed in our mouths fleeing down the road till we got round the corner out of sight.