When I Die, Will I Get Better? is the third studio album by British post-hardcore band Svalbard, released on 25 September 2020. Recorded in February 2020 with long-time producer Lewis Johns, the album incorporates more of a shoegaze-influenced sound in contrast to Svalbard's previous album It's Hard to Have Hope (2018), as well as more clean singing, vocal harmonies, and complex instrumental parts. Lyrically, it discusses themes of mental health, with a focus on depression and suicide, as well as feministic topics including domestic abuse, online sexism and objectification. It was Svalbard's only album with bassist Alex Heffernan.
Originally intended for release through Holy Roar Records, When I Die, Will I Get Better? was ultimately released through Church Road Records after Svalbard severed ties with Holy Roar less than three weeks before its release, when several women accused the label's founder of rape and sexual misconduct. It received positive reviews from critics upon release, and was named one of the best albums of 2020 by BrooklynVegan, Decibel, Kerrang! and Metal Hammer. Most of Svalbard's scheduled tour dates during 2020 were cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic; in 2021, the band would embark on tours of Europe and the United Kingdom in support of the album.
Music, writing and recording
Primarily described as a post-hardcore and post-metal album, When I Die, Will I Get Better? has also been described as post-rock, black metal and shoegaze. Expanding on their previous album It's Hard to Have Hope (2018), it features more of an shoegaze-influenced sound that was inspired by, and drew comparisons to, Alcest. Svalbard's lead guitarist/vocalist Serena Cherry said that the band's "heavy parts are heavier and the soft parts are softer" on the album, and that it features more complex guitar leads and percussion. The album has also been noted for its greater focus on clean singing (alongside screamed vocals), and vocal harmonies between Cherry and rhythm guitarist and co-lead vocalist Liam Phelan.
Svalbard wrote most of the album's material over the course of several months in 2019. "Silent Restraint", the first song written for the album, dates back to 2018. As with the band's previous albums, Svalbard collaboratively worked on its music before adding lyrics to their songs. Phelan noted that he and Cherry were "at opposite ends of the spectrum" during the album's writing process; whilst Phelan had met his new romantic partner, Cherry struggled with a major bout of depression, an eating disorder, and her escape from an abusive relationship. Phelan felt that this led to a "complete juxtaposition" between the tone of his riffs and Cherry's lyrics on the album. Once the band finished writing, Svalbard recorded the album in February 2020 with long-time producer Lewis Johns at The Ranch Production House in Southampton.
"Open Wound" details an abusive relationship and the conflicting emotions that the abused may feel. "Click Bait" was written as a response to a 2019 article by Metal Hammer, titled "Metal’s most interesting voices are all female – and it’s about time", which Cherry criticized for being misleading, using women as rage-bait, and for not interviewing any women. "Listen to Someone" is a plea for people to take more action and fully listen to those suffering from depression and mental illnesses, instead of telling them to just "speak to someone" else. "Silent Restraint" is about "being stuck and isolated" from people by depression. "What Was She Wearing" targets media outlets "who use their platform to insult women based on their clothing choices", whilst "The Currency Of Beauty" criticizes the values online dating sites promote. Phelan said that both he and Cherry wrote their parts for "Pearlescent", originally intended as an instrumental track, as odes to their romantic partners. Cherry additionally described the song as representing "the light at the end of the tunnel [of depression]".
Title and artwork
The album's title is derived from the children's book When I Die, Will I Get Better? A Book About Healing (1993) by Joeri and Piet Breebaart, which Cherry found at the Viktor Wynds Museum of Curiosities in London. Cherry associated the album's title with her struggles with depression, as well as people believing that will be forgiven for their sins after their death and the hope that "when sexism, racism, transphobia and homophobia die, we will get better as a society". The album's cover art (drawn by Steve Kingscote) features a deer, representing its feminist aspects and women's fears of being "preyed upon".