"Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" is the third episode of the eighteenth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on September 24, 2006. In this episode, Marge learns carpentry, but uses Homer as a front when she wants to make money off her talents since no one in Springfield believes that women can be carpenters. Meanwhile, Principal Skinner and Bart fight each other when Bart discovers that Skinner is allergic to peanuts and Skinner discovers that Bart is allergic to shrimp.
It was written by Matt Warburton and directed by Mike B. Anderson with co-direction by Ralph Sosa. In its original broadcast, the episode received 9.72 million viewers.
Plot
On a trip to the extremely rundown Springfield Mall, Homer happens across the Time–Life Carpenter's Library, and Marge encourages him to buy them. Homer's interest in carpentry fades, and Marge decides to use them herself to fix up the house. She begins to learn more about carpentry and Lisa suggests to Marge that she try to earn some money as a handywoman, thus opening up "Simpsons Carpentry". However, potential clients Superintendent Chalmers and Krusty the Clown turn her down, dismissing the idea of a female carpenter. Commenting on how people expect carpenters to be male, Marge develops a plan: she uses Homer as a front to the customers, while Marge, hiding in a red tool chest, does all of the work as Homer rests in the toolbox, and switches back when the customers come to check on Homer's work.
Though business is going great, Marge becomes discouraged by Helen Lovejoy and Lindsay Naegle, who taunt her for being Homer's "helper". That night, Marge tells Homer that she feels he is taking too much credit and wishes she would get some recognition for the work. Homer, however, does not want to be humiliated by revealing his wife has done everything. Marge continues to get angry after Homer mocks Marge's carpentry skills with Lenny and Carl, and when he tells her he has been hired to repair Springfield's old wooden roller coaster, "The Zoominator", she quits and tells Homer he will have to do the work by himself. Homer tries to fake his way through being a foreman in front of his newly hired construction crew, but they eventually abandon him when he reveals he cannot pay them and does not know anything about construction.
The big reopening day arrives, and Homer stands in front of a crowd gathered to witness the unveiling of the refurbished roller coaster; Marge shows up to witness Homer being revealed as a fraud firsthand. When unveiled, the crowd is in awe at the seemingly repaired roller coaster, but when Homer pops a champagne cork into one of the coaster's segments, it begins to break down rapidly. Still not wanting to admit the truth, Homer attempts to prove the coaster is safe by riding it himself, even though there are large gaps in the track. Acting quickly, Marge repairs each broken piece just before Homer's cart runs over it. Eventually, Homer finally reveals to the crowd that Marge has done all the handiwork. The crowd applauds as the coaster comes to a stop, and just as Marge is about to tell Homer that she loves him, the entire structure comes crashing down on top of Homer. At the hospital, Marge visits Homer, who is immobilized in a full-body cast, and they make amends.