“In all kinds of speech,” says Bacon, “either pleasant, grave, severe, or ordinary, it is convenient to speak rather slowly than hastily; because hasty speech confounds the memory, and oftentimes drives a man either to a nonplus or unseemly stammering upon what should follow; whereas a slow speech confirmeth the memory, addeth a conceit of wisdom to the hearers, besides a seemliness of speech and countenance.”
The man of real dignity, of real intellectual strength, never hesitates to establish a sort of friendly relation with his servants and subordinates. If you see a man going about with a “ramrod down his back,” looking over the heads of his servants and subordinates, you may be sure that he knows just enough to know that his dignity is a nurseling and needs his constant attention.
Be not in haste to take offence; be sure first that an indignity is intended. He that calls you hard names, if they are unmerited, is beneath your resentment; if merited, you have no right to complain. In either case, nine times in ten, the better course is to say little and go your way. A well-bred man seldom if ever feels justified in indulging in recrimination. Altercations are as much to be avoided as personal encounters.
It often requires more courage to avoid a quarrel than to engage in one, and then the courage that keeps one out of a quarrel is the courage of the philosopher, while the courage that leads one into a quarrel is the courage of the bully. He that boasts of his prowess is a blackguard.
Steer wide of the stupid habit many persons get into of repeating questions that are asked them, and of asking others to repeat what they have said. If you take the trouble to observe, you will find your experience with these people to be something like this: “Will this street take me into Chatham Square?” “Chatham Square, did you say?” You go into a men’s furnishing store and ask: “Will you show me some sixteen-inch collars?” “Sixteen inch, did you say?” You ask an acquaintance: “How long have you been in New York?” “How long have I been in New York, did you say?” or, “Which do you think the prettier of the two?” “Which do I think the prettier?” or, “I think it will be warmer to-morrow.” “What did you say?” or, “Patti was ill and did not sing last evening.” “What do you say, Patti didn’t sing?” “When do you expect to break yourself of the habit of asking me to repeat everything I say, or of repeating everything over after me?” “When do I expect to break myself of the habit?” If you think you have been understood, all you have to do, as a rule, is to keep silent and look your interlocutor full in the face for a moment to be made sure of it.