Produced by Paul Haxo with special thanks to Harvard University, Google, and the Hathi Trust Digital Library.
AUTHOR OF _Living too Fast--Wooing in Jest and Loving in Earnest--Leading Strings, &c. &c._
THOMAS HAILES LACY, 89, STRAND, (_Opposite Southampton Street, Covent Garden Market,_) LONDON.
_First performed at the Royal Strand Theatre, March 24th, 1859._
VANDYKE BROWN, _a Photographic Artist_ Mr. J. CLARKE. MR. AUGUSTUS BOBBINS, _a Retired Tradesman_ Mr. TURNER. MR. FASTMAN, _a Law Student_ Mr. MOWBRAY.
MRS. BROWN, _Vandyke Brown's Wife, living under the name of Duval_ Miss J. WILTON. MRS. BOBBINS Miss M. TERNAN. REBECCA, _Mrs. Bobbin's Servant Maid_ Miss LAVINE.
SCENE.--_Mr. Bobbins's Lodgings. Chamber, C. D., backed by a window--doors, R. and L.--table, R., chairs, books, newspaper--table, arm chair R. of table, chair L.--table against flat, R., with bust of Shakespeare--table against flat, L., with vase of flowers_.
MRS. BOBBINS. (_within, R. D._) It's useless your denying it, Mr. Bobbins! I saw you do it--I saw you do it with my own eyes, sir!
AUGUS. (_within, R. D._) My dear Constantia!--before the servants!
MRS. BOBBINS. (_within, R. D._) Leave the room this instant, Rebecca! Leave the room, I say! You'll quit my service this day month.
REBECCA. (_within, R._) Certainly, ma'am! certainly! with all my heart!
_Enter REBECCA, R. D., slapping the door behind her._
Was there ever such a temper as missus? I never see such a one--never! If master will keep staring at me, is that my fault, I should like to know?
REBECCA. (R.) Here's that tiresome Mr. Fastman again.
FAST. Well, have you anything to tell me? When is she coming home?
REBECCA. Lor, sir! why should you want to know? Missus has come home--she came home this morning.
FAST. No! you don't say so! Where is she?
REBECCA. Where is she?--why, where should she be? In the next room, at breakfast with her husband, to be sure.
FAST. The deuce she is! Don't talk so loud.
REBECCA. Why not? _I'm_ not ashamed of what I'm saying.
FAST. Come home at last, then. Ah! (_sighs_) your mistress is a beautiful woman, Rebecca.
REBECCA. Beautiful?--that depends upon opinion; for my part, I don't like tall women.
FAST. I admire tall women. It seems to me an age since she has been away.