Chapter XIII.—He Entreats God for
Her Sins, and Admonishes His Readers to Remember Her
Piously.
34. But,—my heart being now healed of that
wound, in so far as it could be convicted of a carnal
affection,—I pour out unto Thee, O our God, on behalf of that
Thine handmaid, tears of a far different sort, even that which
flows from a spirit broken by the thoughts of the dangers of every
soul that dieth in Adam. And although she, having been “made
alive” in Christ even before she was freed from the
flesh had so lived as to praise Thy name both by her faith and
conversation, yet dare I not say that from the time Thou didst
regenerate her by baptism, no word went forth from her mouth
against Thy precepts. And it hath been declared by Thy
Son, the Truth, that “Whosoever shall say to his brother, Thou
fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” And woe even unto the praiseworthy
life of man, if, putting away mercy, Thou shouldest investigate it. But because Thou dost not narrowly inquire after sins, we hope with confidence to find some place of indulgence with Thee. But whosoever recounts his true merits to Thee, what is it that he recounts to Thee but Thine own gifts? Oh, if men would know themselves to be men; and that “he that glorieth” would “glory in the Lord!”
35. I then, O my Praise and my Life, Thou God
of my heart, putting aside for a little her good deeds, for which I
joyfully give thanks to Thee, do now beseech Thee for the sins of
my mother. Hearken unto me, through that Medicine of our wounds who
hung upon the tree, and who, sitting at Thy right hand, “maketh
intercession for us.” I know that she acted mercifully, and from the heart forgave her debtors their debts; do Thou also forgive her debts, whatever she contracted during so many years since the water of salvation. Forgive her, O Lord, forgive her, I beseech Thee; “enter not into judgment” with her. Let Thy mercy be exalted above Thy justice, because Thy words are true, and Thou hast promised mercy unto “the merciful;” which Thou gavest them to be who wilt “have mercy” on whom Thou wilt “have mercy,” and wilt “have compassion” on whom Thou hast had compassion.
36. And I believe Thou hast already done that
which I ask Thee; but “accept the free-will offerings of my
mouth, O Lord.” For she, when the day of her dissolution was near at hand, took no thought to have her body sumptuously covered, or embalmed with spices; nor did she covet a choice monument, or desire her paternal burial-place. These things she entrusted not to us, but only desired to have her name remembered at Thy altar, which she had served without the omission of a single day; whence she knew that the holy sacrifice was dispensed, by which the handwriting that was against us is blotted out; by which the enemy was triumphed over, who, summing up our offences, and searching for something to bring against us, found nothing in Him in whom we conquer. Who will restore to Him the innocent blood? Who will repay Him the price with which He bought us, so as to take us from Him? Unto the sacrament of which our ransom did Thy handmaid bind her soul by the bond of faith. Let none separate her from Thy protection. Let not the “lion” and the “dragon” introduce himself by force or fraud. For she will not reply that she owes nothing, lest she be convicted and got the better of by the wily deceiver; but she will answer that her “sins are forgiven” by Him to whom no one is able to repay that price which He, owing nothing, laid down for us.
37. May she therefore rest in peace with her
husband, before or after whom she married none; whom she obeyed, with patience bringing forth fruit unto Thee, that she might gain him also for Thee. And inspire, O my Lord my God, inspire Thy servants my brethren, Thy sons my masters, who with voice and heart and writings I serve, that so many of them as shall read these confessions may at Thy altar remember Monica, Thy handmaid, together with Patricius, her sometime husband, by whose flesh Thou introducedst me into this life, in what manner I know not. May they with pious affection be mindful of my parents in this transitory light, of my brethren that are under Thee our Father in our Catholic mother, and of my fellow-citizens in the eternal Jerusalem, which the wandering of Thy people sigheth for from their departure until their return. That so my mother’s last entreaty to me may, through my confessions more than through my prayers, be more abundantly fulfilled to her through the prayers of many.