Chapter II.
The precepts of the Apostle concerning a widow indeed
are laid down, such as, that she bring up children, attend to her
parents, desire to please God, show herself irreproachable, set forth a
ripeness of merits, have been the wife of one man. St. Ambrose
notes, however, that a second marriage was not condemned by St. Paul, and adds that widows must have a good report for virtue with all. The reasons why younger widows are to be avoided, and what is meant by its being better to marry than to burn. St. Ambrose then goes on to speak of the dignity of widows, shown by the fact that any injury done to them is visited by the anger of God.
7. , then, a
widow is not only marked off by bodily abstinence, but is distinguished
by virtue, to whom I do not give commandments, but the Apostle. I
am not the only person to do them honour, but the Doctor of the
Gentiles did so first, when he said: “Honour widows that
are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let
her first learn to govern her own house, and to requite her
parents.” Whence we
observe that each inclination of affection ought to exist in a widow, to love her children and to do her duty to her parents. So when discharging her duty to her parents she is teaching her children, and is rewarded herself by her own compliance with duty, in that what she performs for others benefits herself.
8. “For this,” says he, “is acceptable with God.” So that if thou, O widow, carest for the things of God, thou oughtest to follow after that which thou hast learnt to be well pleasing to God. And, indeed, the Apostle somewhat farther back, exhorting widows to the pursuit of continence, said that they mind the things of the Lord. But elsewhere, when a widow who is approved is to be selected, she is bidden not only to bear in mind but also to hope in the Lord: “For she that is a widow indeed,” it is said, “and desolate, must hope in God, and be instant in supplications and prayers night and day.” And not without reason does he show that these ought to be blameless, to whom, as virtuous works are enjoined, so, too, great respect is paid, so that they are honoured even by bishops.
9. And of what kind she ought to be who is
chosen the description is given in the words of the teacher
himself: “Not less than threescore years old, having been
the wife of one man.” Not
that old age alone makes the widow, but that
the merits of the widow are the duties of old age. For she
certainly is the more noble who represses the heat of youth, and the
impetuous ardour of youthful age, desiring neither the tenderness of a
husband, nor the abundant delights of children, rather than one who, now worn out in body, cold in age, of ripe years, can neither grow warm with pleasures, nor hope for offspring.
10. Nor in truth is any one excluded from the
devotion of widowhood, if after entering upon a second marriage, which
the precepts of the Apostle certainly do not condemn as
though the fruit of chastity were lost, if she
be again loosed from her husband. She will have, indeed, the
merit of her chastity, even if it be tardy, but she will be more
approved who has tried a second marriage, for the desire of chastity is
conspicuous in her, for the other old age or shame seems to have put an
end to marrying.
11. Nor yet is bodily chastity alone the
strong purpose of the widow, but a large and most abundant exercise of
virtue. “Well reported of for good works, if she have
brought up children; if she have lodged strangers; if she have washed
the saints’ feet; if she have ministered to those suffering
tribulation; if, lastly, she have followed after every good
work.” You see
how many practices of virtue he has included. He demands, first
of all, the duty of piety; secondly, the practice of hospitality and
humble service; thirdly, the ministry of mercy and liberality in
assisting; and, lastly, the performance of every good work.