I was willing to tell her all about /them/ two poor girls.... They must not be /no/ mistake about who is the boss in my house. Some men /lets/ their /wife/ run all over them.... Allen has /went/ to a college football game. One of the reporters /give/ him a pass.... He called up and said he /hadn't/ only the one pass, but he was not hurting my feelings /none/.... The flat across the hall from this /here/ one is for rent.... If we should /of boughten/ furniture it would cost us in the neighborhood of $100, even without /no/ piano.... I consider myself lucky to /of/ found out about this before it was too late and somebody else had /of/ gotten the tip.... It will always be /ourn/, even when we move away.... Maybe you could /of did/ better if you had /of went/ at it in a different way.... Both /her/ and you /is/ welcome at my house.... I never /seen/ so much wine /drank/ in my life....
Here are specimens to fit into most of Charters' categories--verbs confused as to tense, pronouns confused as to case, double and even triple negatives, nouns and verbs disagreeing in number, /have/ softened to /of/, /n/ marking the possessive instead of /s/, /like/ used in place of /as/, and the personal pronoun substituted for the demonstrative adjective. A study of the whole story would probably unearth all the remaining errors noted in Kansas City. Lardner's baseball player, though he has pen in hand and is on his guard, and is thus very careful to write /would not/ instead of /wouldn't/ and even /am not/ instead of /ain't/, offers a comprehensive and highly instructive panorama of popular speech habits. To him the forms of the subjunctive mood have no existence, and /will/ and /shall/ are identical, and adjectives and adverbs are indistinguishable, and the objective case is merely a variorum form of the nominative. His past tense is, more often than not, the orthodox present tense. All fine distinctions are obliterated in his speech. He uses invariably the word that is simplest, the grammatical form that is handiest. And so he moves toward the philological millennium dreamed of by George T. Lanigan, when "the singular verb shall lie down with the plural noun, and a little conjugation shall lead them."